Zan On Happiness

The New Paradigm

2011-07-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

I just completed an amazing six week teleconference class with Lynne McTaggart. Her books are worth reading - if you're not a reader, consider the audio version. I'm an advocate of listening and/or reading ideas that will help to change your thoughts and guide you to changing your life. If you're going through a rough patch, marinate yourself in higher consciousness teachings. Play a CD or MP3 of one of the many teachers that I have talked about - Jacob Glass, Abraham, Katie Byron, Lynne McTaggart and others. It will shift your perspective.

We simply must take responsibility for the thoughts we think in order to change our lives and change our world. We get involved in doing a million different tasks during the day until we fall over exhausted at the end of the night - then we wonder why our lives aren't changing. You must put yourself first if only for 5 minutes in the morning. Write lists of appreciation, how you want your day to be, where you got it right (it's so easy for us to focus on where we got it wrong). Deconstruct your disturbing thoughts by writing down beliefs in one column, and then in another column where you got those beliefs. You might be surprised about what you've been carrying around. Beliefs that you don't even believe! - And yet they are a creative force in our lives. Like the woman who cut off the end of the roast before putting it in the oven. When she asked her mother why they always did that, her mother had no good answer. She finally asked her grandmother who said, "I don't know why you girls do it. I did it because my roasting pan was too small to fit the whole roast." Where do our thoughts about our self worth, what we deserve, and what we seem to continually deny ourselves come from? Get them out of your thought generator. They are simply not true.

Lynne McTaggart is convinced that we as humans were not meant to be small, selfish and self serving. We were meant to "share, care and be fair." She is predicting a new paradigm of changes that come from the powerful thrust of group intentions. The change in our world is not going to come from the top down - as evidenced by all the political machinations and media corruption - the change will come from the strength of our focused intention, singly and in groups. As the Talmud so eloquently puts it, "A light for one is a light for a hundred."

I cannot stress it more strongly - question your thoughts, question your thoughts, question your thoughts! What we think affects our world. We are number one cause in our lives, unequivocally. You can never blame anything outside yourself. It's time to think differently. It's time to get what you want out of life while extending a hand to another - it simply feels fantastic! We hold ourselves back by the beliefs we hold on to and they create our lives; and yet we don't understand why we cannot change our circumstances. It then reinforces our beliefs in being a victim, which then becomes self fulfilling. The more we think and say, "that always happens to me" or "it figures" or "knowing my luck," the more we reinforce it. We have a compliant Universe that consistently delivers our beliefs. As the Buddhists say, "become mindful." Don't let your thoughts run amok with untruths and beliefs that make you unhappy. Take small steps, penguin steps by changing the words that you use on a daily basis. Lets deconstruct the barriers to our good.

The world is changing simply because we are changing. Let go of the beliefs that have you "creating with monotonous regularity the patterns of your past," and begin to live the life that you deserve.

Amazing Power

2011-07-15T09:58:00.000-07:00

We have the ability to change our lives through our beliefs, which are just thoughts we keep thinking. No surprise, right? We know that intellectually, but practicing it is another story. And yet, it's one of the most important things we can do in this lifetime and it can be argued that that is the very reason we are here. We are spiritual beings living a physical experience. The power we possess to alter our lives and create peace, happiness and joy is limitless. Scientists tell us that we only use a fraction of our brain. Who knows what more we can do with this physical apparatus, not to mention what we are capable of as we incorporate more of our spiritual selves into our lives.

I am currently taking a class with Lynne McTaggart, author of The Bond, The Field and The Power of Intention. If you get off on scientific data and studies that substantiate spiritual phenomena, then she's your girl. She has done wide spread study herself, and has investigated countless studies that back how our powerful thoughts can supercede the physical. Even our DNA plays second fiddle to our thoughts. We communicate constantly with the power that creates worlds - call it what you will - God, the Universe, the Field, our Higher Self, the Quantum Web or the Divine - it responds to what we think, feel and emit. Words are secondary, though they hold energy, our thoughts and our emotions are the vibrations to which that field responds. as A Course In Miracles states, we create what we think about, wanted or unwanted. Lynne says we are "leaky buckets" that constantly send out signals. That is why, as Ernest Holmes says, "We create with monotonous regularity the patterns of our past." Why? Because we are habitual thinkers and we focus too much on reality. We allow reality to dictate our lives because, after all, it's true, real and concrete, right? Wrong. Not entirely. We base reality on our five senses and on a past that we decide is true. Yet we forget that there is another, perhaps stronger, reality in play - an emotional, vibrational and energetic reality.

If you don't like what you are attracting, make a conscious, concerted effort to change your beliefs, question your thoughts and move yourself into a better feeling place step by step. As thinking, creative human beings we have the ability to offer a vibration that is different from what we are observing. Reality does not have to be the dictator of our lives, especially if we don't like the reality that we are living. This is powerful stuff and yet it takes practice - as one of my teachers (Terry Cole Whittaker) used to say, "It takes a lot of work to live an effortless life." But we can do it, especially as our awareness becomes more acute - you will become less tolerable of misery.

Some time back, I was having a conversation with my best friend - an advocate of baby steps - and I told him that I was proceeding in steps even smaller than baby steps, "I am moving in penguin steps." Those critters walk as if they have their pants down around their ankles and yet they traverse continents, and so can we. One penguin step at a time is all it takes to change thoughts that have us living circumstances that are unwanted. We are one hundred percent at cause in our lives. Once we fully understand that we become a powerful source for change.

I've offered lots of tools, teachers and books that can assist you in taking those small steps. Check out my resources here. Become mindful. Question your thoughts. Have the courage to be happy - it is not vapid, without contemplation or lacking erudite thought, quite the opposite. It is perhaps the most important thing you can do for your life and for others.

In keeping with our penguin stepping theme, here is a video of some mighty powerful, amazing birds who achieved the seemingly impossible.

How's that working out for you so far?

2011-06-28T11:59:00.000-07:00

If you feel like there is an area in your life where you are particularly stuck, take yourself out of the equation. Stop trying to fix it, change it or figure it out. If it's an area that has been a concern for you for sometime - relationship, career, finances - chances are you have a lot of the past accumulated which bares negatively on forward movement. It's easy to say, let go of the past, it's another thing to do it. Instead, don't hold on to the thoughts that move through your brain as habitual reminders of lack. Remember, beliefs are just thoughts that we keep on thinking. It's important to question those beginning thoughts - Is that true? How can I know that that true? This is the brilliant work of Byron Katie. Do not let these thoughts, that have you stuck, that hold you back, continue to hijack your emotions. Once thoughts have been met with emotions, they become solidified making them seem more real. They are not. They are just thoughts that we keep thinking that make us feel bad. "I can't change jobs because it means....I can't move because...I can't leave my mate, date someone else because..." These are stories we tell ourselves based on a past that does not feel very good. The evidence we have gathered serves us not.

Remember, the stories that we tell ourselves about who we are, based on our past - frequently a past that we do not even like - become the basis for our lives. Dare to let go of those thoughts and create a different story - even if you have to make it up! Lynne McTaggart, author, researcher and lecturer tells us that our brains cannot differentiate thoughts from reality. If we're thinking or imagining something that makes us happy, our brain does not know that this is not our current reality. It perceives it as real and creates neural pathways that become familiar. We now have an experience of having done it - Powerful stuff!

This week, do not be hijacked by thoughts that make you feel stuck - reasons and excuses for not living the life that you desire. Become aware and stop any thought that negatively affects your gut. Create new thoughts - begin with the end in mind and hold on to the wonderful truth that...Lots can happen.

Wisdom from Louise Hay

2011-06-26T12:45:00.000-07:00

I couldn't have said it better myself, Louise!

"This month, I celebrate my own independence. I choose to be free of all negativity, anger, fear, insecurities, jealousies—and any thought that makes me feel “less than.”

I no longer choose to live in the prison of my mind. I choose thoughts of love, joy, prosperity, and unlimited creativity and opportunities. What I focus on is exactly what I attract.

Joy brings joy.

Let’s affirm: I am totally free to choose thoughts of joy."

For more of Louise Hay, log onto her blog - You Can Heal Your Life

Here's a picture of me, Louise Hay and Esther Hicks (Abraham) having some fun.

Choose Again...

2011-06-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

It is no surprise that our thoughts create. The world we live in is exactly the one that we have designed and we are 100% responsible for it. Hardball metaphysics - no blame, no victim, no martyr. It's our energy and vibration that is calling circumstances to us so that we might learn from them - learn how to better control our energy, learn deep soul lessons. They are not good, bad or indifferent, they just are circumstances to which we are a vibrational match. With that knowledge, we must be ever diligent in watching our thoughts. Our mind is like a puppy that needs training. We have millions of thoughts in a day and some come and go without regard, some make us happy. It's the thoughts that are charged with negative emotion, anger, hate, fear, self-righteousness and degradation. Those are the thoughts that we cannot afford to take a foot hold in our lives. As the book says, "You Can't Afford The Luxury of Negative Thought." Some thoughts become habitual and then they become a "story" that we begin to live by. The Universe will do everything to make you right and if you're telling a story of lack, limitation or one of being a victim; you cannot be surprised when your life is not working out the way you want it to. It's self perpetuating and yet we often proceed as if we are at the effect of our circumstances - complaining, frustrated and overwhelmed.

We are so powerful - beyond measure - let's be more vigilant in which thoughts we allow to take root. Stop the negative buzz and chatter during the day. Stop bitching and complaining. Take deliberate moments to compliment someone, even if you can only find one thing that is worth complimenting in them. Appreciate more and let the bitterness take a back seat. As Abraham would say, "Wag more and bark less." It will change your life. The better it gets, the better it gets. Let's look for "the better" in our lives this week.

Scaredy Cat

2011-06-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

A Course In Miracles talks about the fear of the will of God as being one of the strangest notions that we hold. Somehow if we follow God's plan for our lives we won't get want we want. We might end up like Mother Teresa or some poor Monk who has taken a vow of poverty - that somehow we won't get our heart's desire. Unfortunately, that powerful guidance has been co-opted by religion and everything we think God is - judgmental and vengeful. What ever happened to the notion of a loving God? Thank goodness we have a guidance system that tells us better - that has driven us toward spirituality and the notion that we are all God, sharing the Universal force of love that makes us all one. It's like that joke about the two waves on the ocean. One wave says to the other, have you heard about this thing called the ocean that everyone's been talking about?"

The will of God is our higher selves plan for our lives. We have no greater joy than when we are following that plan. That's why Abraham says, "Nothing is more important than that you feel good," because that's when our higher selves, our guidance system is engaged. Don't fear it, it doesn't come from some outside strange entity. It comes from our higher self. Remember, we are spiritual beings living a physical existence. It is our own wisdom and we can trust it. Learn to trust your intuition and follow that path that brings you the most joy and you will be directed. As Howard Therman says, "Ask for what makes you come alive and do that."

Do Unto Others...

2011-06-20T07:55:00.000-07:00

If you're feeling particularly stuck or in a rut or just plain blasé, the antidote is giving. It can be a simple gesture - a smile, holding the door open for someone, letting a car in in traffic instead of speeding up and then cussing them out for "cutting you off." Extend yourself just a little bit today - a kind word to someone can often do more for you. We are all one and as the bible reminds us - and I paraphrase here - the least we do to another we do to ourselves. The energy of kindness and compassion carries with it strong vibrational attraction for good. Your return on investment is high here. Beat the Monday blahs by extending yourself where opportunity presents itself. It will make a difference in your day and will send a ripple effect that contributes to wellbeing. Simple acts of kindness, they are profound.

One by One, Thought by Thought

2011-06-18T09:41:00.000-07:00

We are all one. There's no denying it. Quantum physicists will tell you about the field - God, Source, The Universe - that responds to, not only everything we do but from everything we think. You've all had that experience of thinking about someone and then they call. Spiritual teachers will tell you that we are spiritual beings living a physical experience and that we are all connected at the level of source - much like the waves upon the ocean - we are all the ocean. Everything you do or think not only effects you but also effects your world. For some fascinating research read Lynne McTaggart's The Field or the Intention Experiment.

The most important thing you can do today is to find your own peace, which will naturally radiate to others. Let go of the buzz, the chatter, the voice of dissent in your own head. Change the internal racket, change the story that has you stuck in living out the same patterns. As the masters have said, 'We are the architects of our own fate,' begin by changing one simple thought about yourself today and then watch as a new path begins to unfurl.

Enjoy this video, which is a perfect example of people connecting at the level of the heart through music.

I've Been Thinking...

2011-06-17T10:46:00.000-07:00

"There is no more self-contradictory concept than that of "idle thoughts." What gives rise to the perception of a whole world can hardly be called idle. Every thought you have contributes to truth or to illusion; either it extends the truth or multiplies illusions . . . There are no idle thoughts. All thinking produces form at some level." -A Course in Miracles

The laws of the Universe or of creation are as indiscriminate and powerful as the laws of physics. They don't care who you are, they just work. Gravity doesn't discriminate, it applies to everyone. Every thought you think, every emotion you give power to and dwell upon has power. The good news is that you can change the course of your life in an instant. Don't like your life or the circumstances you've created? - Change your thoughts. Start by concentrating on things that make you happy and feel good. We have thousands of thoughts each day - it's just the ones that we focus on, make a story out of and give power to that become habitual ways of thinking. Feel your way into a better feeling thought by focusing on what's going right, what's working and imagining your dreams as being true right now. It takes a lot of work to lead an effortless life, in the beginning, because you are training your mind. It gets easier because you become more mindful and because it starts to feel better. Release the mind chatter and the underlying thoughts that make you feel bad - the little day to day annoyances - and choose a better feeling thought right now. It will change your life.

Choose Again

2011-03-20T09:18:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about fear and reaction; especially in light of the recent earthquake and tsunami in Japan. Granted the news is not good, but so many people seem to be running around hysterically buying into fear, fear and more fear. Earthquakes predicted in California, tsunamis, tragedy, nuclear annihilation and despair. This kind of thinking does nothing to help the cumulative consciousness, nor does it foster inspired action, which actually does help promote the common good. We must now be even more diligent of mind chatter and fearful thoughts that erode our good and rob of us of our personal happiness.

All the upset we're now experiencing in the world is bringing invaluable lessons with it. It gives us reason to be even more diligent with our thoughts in order to bring more light into our own lives - it has an exponential effect - it serves everyone. I'm reminded of someone who lived in the most horrific of times and circumstances and who refused to give into his mind's agreement of pain and despair; Viktor Frankl. He was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, as well as a Holocaust survivor. One of his most famous quotes is, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Even while he was being tortured in a concentration camp, he held on to the truth that he was still free in his mind - no one could take that away from him.

The world has, for many people, become a very scary and hostile place. And while I by no means downplay the tragic circumstances the Japanese are now facing, I want to remind everyone that holding on to a higher truth and being even more mindful of our thoughts is of utmost importance. We are all connected; there is no distance in the heart. If we are freaking out in the safety and security of our homes and buying into all the dire predictions, we are of no good to ourselves or others. Remember the acronym for F.E.A.R - False Evidence Appearing Real? Viktor Frankl had all the evidence of physical horror and yet he refused to let his mind fall into agreement. He knew that that would certainly seal his fate. He remained free, and so can we.

We are so powerful. Every thought we think lays the groundwork for our future. We must be hyper-vigilant of our thoughts, especially in these fragile times - it serves to engender peace in your moment, sets up more of the same for my future, and lends itself to inspired action. All action taken from a place of peace acts to serve everyone - it's for the highest good for all concerned. Listen less to those thoughts of fear, listen less to the news, and subscribe to those thoughts that bring peace and joy so that it might be extended to others. Your prayers for the victims will be more powerful, your donations or any inspired action that you take will be compounded when it comes from a place of peace. My husband, who is an avid information gatherer and listens to all kinds of news, has been coming to bed at night with inspiring stories of heroics, generosity and love coming out of Japan. You will not hear those from your nightly news. Look for those stories. They will give you so much hope for the future, as well as inspire and encourage you.

Look for the good news stories; stay away from predictions and admonitions that leave you scared and feeling hopeless. Let's adopt Viktor Frankl's advice to choose our responses. Let's be inspired instead of scared so we can be effective in our own lives and in the lives of others.

These times are helping us shed old skins - skins of shame, guilt, fear and separation. It's time to let go of those false beliefs about ourselves and really understand the truth of who we are so that we might live more joyfully.

I remind you, once again, of all the teachers and tools listed on this page. They will help you let go of the past so that you might move boldly into the future you desire. Each one of those teachers are wonderful and offer special gifts. Choose the one that pops out at you - they will have the very thing you need for this moment. Don't stop reading, listening and marinating yourself in the positive information your soul longs for.

One teacher that especially comes to mind at this time is Daisaku Ikeda. He is a Buddhist philosopher, peace builder, educator, author, poet and President of the SGI Buddhist lay organization. He currently lives in Japan. I leave you with his words, "Nothing can destroy the treasures of the heart. Every adversity is but a trial for us to overcome so that we can attain eternal happiness. Nichiren Buddhism, our practice of faith in the Mystic Law, enables us to transform all poison into medicine without fail."

Tidings of Comfort and Joy...

2010-12-06T07:29:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about something my friend, Jacob said. He said, "Create a new fiction about yourself and it becomes true." I can't stress enough how important our inner dialogue is. The way we describe ourselves, the story we tell ourselves about our past, the words we choose and use every day create our lives. We are powerful beyond measure to guide our lives in the direction of our dreams and yet we mindlessly fall into habits that keep our lives the same - and then we wonder why things are not changing.

Jonas Chong, a clinical psychologist at the Sonaviv Medical Institute, tells us that we have, on an average about 60,000 thoughts a day - 87% of those thoughts are negative and repetitive. 97% of all negative thinking is a gross misrepresentation of reality. We are making it all up according to the stories that we continue to tell ourselves. Then we gather evidence that those stories are true and call them beliefs. It is a downward spiral from there and we find ourselves unhappy. The questions is, why do we always make it up on the downside? Why so negative?

I bring you tidings of comfort and great joy this season by reminding you that the changes you seek are not up to any force outside yourself. They lie within you. It's the best secret ever but it requires mindfulness. It requires diligence and attention because we're being asked to turn away from habits of thought that have become familiar. They are so ingrained in us that we don't even see how insidious they are. How many of us especially in this the busiest time of year, harp on how we're lacking in time, energy, money and resources? We dig the ditch of poverty in so many areas by constantly affirming what we don't have. Words themselves are not as powerful as the meaning we ascribe to them. It's how we think about what we say that's the most important. Use words like I can, I have, I'm happy about, I'm grateful for, I appreciate, and then watch even your body's posture change. Our bodies respond to the thoughts we feed it, as much as it does to the food we feed it. We have given certain words powerful meaning in our life. You know which ones they are by the way they make you feel. Stop using the words that make you feel bad. They make your moment unhappy, while at the same time becoming the blueprint for your next. You are the architect of your life. Start building a foundation for joy and happiness, rather than lack and despair. Let's stop arguing for our limitations. Listen to your words, what you say, how they make you feel and then stop the cycle. Don't let your mind chatter be as predictable as the seasons.

If there is an area in your life that is particularly lacking, grab onto an affirmation and as, Jacob goes on to say, "Say it until it becomes your truth and then look for the evidence of it." Look for evidence everywhere that your words are making a difference because you will find it. And then, give thanks for that evidence. Milk it for everything its worth. We talk about the bad things that happen ad nauseum, why not do the same for our moments of good? Your focus on the positive, even smallest of changes, will bring more of that into your life. Christiane Northrup talks about affirmations - words that affirm our good - as follows, "Affirmations don't make something happen, they make something welcome." If affirming that you are rich, when in fact you are struggling with your finances, is too hard for your mind to wrap itself around, instead try, 'Wouldn't it be great if...' Create scenarios in your brain for your life that feel great . Have fun with it. It becomes an attractive vibration. My husband likes to say, "The thing I like about that is..." He mines a situation for any good he can find there. Whether we act out something in our life or simply in our head, our brain does not discern one over the other as reality. Our thoughts create. As Napoleon Hill, author of Think And Grow Rich said, "Thoughts have the peculiar quality of becoming their physical equivalence."

Joy and happiness have been highly underrated in our society. If you're happy, you've been perceived as simple, not series or significant; seeing the world through rose colored glasses, Pollyanna-ish. But in fact it's the opposite. Joy is not some airy-fairy, silly concept. It is the basis for creation. It is what is at the depth of our being - the very thing we crave in our lives and try to obtain through so many faulty avenues. Joy is an ever present state, which can be found even at the depth of sorrow. It is not about avoiding challenges, grief or sorrow. It is about shedding light onto those experiences for their value, for their gift. Look for that joy in everything you do today and when you find it, when it hits you, you will have experienced indescribable happiness and peace.

Do not be addicted to the struggle that keeps your life the same. Stop the negative affirmations that sound like, "I never, you always, my luck, holidays are always like..." Change the dialogue, change the beliefs behind the words that keep you stuck. Remember, a belief is just a thought you just keep thinking. Betsy Otter Thompson, author of the insightful book, Walking Through Illusion says, "we don’t take our beliefs with us when we leave here, we take the love we found from having them."

Have the courage to imbue your life with more joy and then watch everything change. Create a new fiction about yourself and you will attract the life you seek. It's one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself this holiday season.

I leave you with a video about a young man who chose not to believe in the story of poverty for his life. He dreamed a new story for his life and then became it.

Finally, as we wrap up this year, I want to take a moment to express my gratitude for you. I have such appreciation for each and every one of you who read this blog and take this journey with me. I applaud you for the work you are doing to change your life. It is contributing to the world in ways we've yet to imagine. You are all so very precious to me. Be comforted in the knowledge that on this journey, we are never alone and we are deeply loved.

Joy, Not Just for Breakfast Anymore!

2010-10-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about something Christiane Northrup said in her immensely inspiring CD, The Power of Joy. While many of her points are so insightful - I cannot recommend this CD enough - the words that struck me the most were, "Everyone's going to die, but not everyone is going to live."

In a world where we run around with to do lists as long as our arm, trying so hard to achieve everything, we have left little room for an actual life. We've become too busy to enjoy our lives. We run around multitasking and trying to, "have it all," until we're just too damn tired to remember what the "all" was. We jam more into one day than our Grandparents did in a week until we end up running our cars into a pole because we're texting and driving at the same time.

Christiane Northrup goes on to say that if we don't make room in our lives for joy, it will be demanded of us in other ways. We will re-route the pleasure that we seek into a behavior or pattern that is far less nurturing like addiction - drugs, sex, food, work or the more subtle one, the busy adrenaline high. Even in our down times we find it hard to do just one thing. Our leisure time has been co-opted by multitasking. In a world where technology has delivered social networking to the end of our fingertips, we've never been so isolated. People walk down the street with their eyes riveted to their social devices barely looking up to acknowledge that another person has passed. We have walled ourselves off into a private space that defeats the desire that it initially strove to fulfill - interaction with another.

We've put pleasure on the back burner in order to earn enough, to do enough, to be enough in order to enjoy that pleasure that we seek. When all is said and done the most gratifying moments are the ones that we've had all along, time with our friends and loved ones. That interaction is so gratifying that we vow to do it again soon so we pull out our Blackberry's to try to fit it into our lives. At our fingertips is the love, joy and closeness we seek but we put it last on our "to do" list. How did we ever think that being busy would buy us those times we cherish the most? As Abraham explains, you cannot get to a happy end through unhappy means, it defies law. It's faulty problem solving at best and yet here we are. What now?

We were born to seek joy and we simply must build more of it into our days, our moments, our lives. We don't want to come to the end of our lives, and none of us knows when that could be, and say that we were too busy to enjoy it. It's like that old adage about how we're not going to regret the fact that we didn't spend more time at the office. If we make a small effort to include moments of joy into our lives, it will pay huge dividends. That time we set aside, even to laugh, becomes very attractive in the world of vibration. We will begin to attract more moments like that and then our aspect, as Buddhism would say, shifts and we are different. When consciousness shifts, even the slightest bit, we have set off a tsunami of change that will change us and our world. It's worth the small commitment. It's worth the time. It will be the most enjoyable effort you make. Make time to laugh, to connect with another, to offer a kind word or compliment, to smile at the stranger that passes you on the street. Joy is what we seek. Make time for it. It will pay big dividends when we put it at the top of our "To Do" list.

I leave you with a brilliant rant from the women who inspired this post, Dr. Christiane Northrup. "Every thought you think creates a cascade of biochemical changes in your body that are measurable. And every cell in your body communicates instantly with every other cell in your body; and, believe it or not, communicates with every cell in my body. And I'm thinking that the energy shift we do tonight (inciting joy) is the best hope for the war in Iraq, peace on the planet, cleaning up all kinds of pollution - that's what we're doing...this is the only thing that will change anything."

Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting!

2010-08-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the concept of divine right action - action that is inspired from within instead of being dictated from without. When our actions are directed by providence instead of deliberate force, our lives fall into place and we are happy.

So many of our actions are initiated from the outside in. We think that if our lives change as a result of our actions and efforts we will be happy - outside in. If we win the lottery we will be happy. If we get the boy or the girl or the job, we will be happy. It requires so much effort! It's exhausting. I don't know about you, but I have enough on my plate without having to continuously manage strategies for every area of my life - 6 steps to your best life, 5 easy ways to get the man of your dreams, 10 top tips to get the career you crave. Yikes!

We manipulate, plan and scheme. We initiate a plan before we prepare our inner landscape for change. It's like planting a garden in soil that has not been tilled. It is nearly impossible to get anything to grow and then if by chance it does, it usually doesn't last. My friend and I used to joke about the next relationship we were going to have. We'd say, "this time we're going to force love to work!" It's not unlike what we do in our lives.

It's been said that if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans. Excuse me Deity, I realize you're busy keeping the planets aligned, but I have a good idea about how you can get me that thing that I want. All the anthropomorphizing aside, it's time for us to give up the control that is keeping us stuck. It's time to trust all the work we've done to change our lives and allow Divine Right Action to dictate our next indicated step. The guidance that we subscribe to, that which we call divine or God, our Buddha nature or the universal law, guides our lives from a perspective that is much grander than we can ever even conceive of. I'm sure you've had events happen in your life that were so synchronistic and were choreographed in such a way that you could have never devised - that is the perspective from which our higher selves lead us.

Let's work more on allowing and opening up our lives to receive all the good that awaits us. It's time. Our work is to bust the negative voices that hold us back and replace them with appreciation and gratitude; to change the habits that keep us, "creating with monotonous regularity the patterns of our past." Let's go within and love ourselves with a vengeance; forgive ourselves and others with a vengeance; release any shame - remember, these are all just habits of thoughts that only stay alive with our permission. Let's give ourselves the permission to live the life that we want, the life that we deserve, and we will effortlessly usher in the next move. It is our best thinking that has gotten us this far. It's time to let our divinity take over. As Abraham says, "You were meant to enjoy with action that which you created with thought."

I leave you with a wonderful rant from Oprah, which I think says it all, "It all boils down to one thing. It is your relationship to the Source. And that relationship to that which we call God or don't call God or don't even know is God, is all that matters. When you surrender and stop resisting and stop trying to change that which you cannot change but be in the moment, be fully open to the blessings which you have already received, and those that are yet to come to you, and stand in that space of gratitude and honor and claim THAT for yourself. And look at where you are and how far you've come and what you've gotten and what you've accomplished and who you are; when you can claim that and see that, the literal vibration of you life will change. The vibration of your life will change."

The Art of Storytelling

2010-07-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the mantra that my old Science of Mind Practitioner would use when counseling...well, just about everybody. She would say nonchalantly but emphatically, "Not a word of truth in it, not a word of truth in it." Most of us would find that so hard to take. It was very disconcerting, especially if we were full into a story that was making us miserable. How could she be so heartless? Her tempering words, however, had a profound way of bringing us back to the truth, which remained, you are so much greater than the story you are now characterizing yourself by.

Not only do we tend to frame and characterize ourselves by these stories of our lives, we tend to keep ourselves stuck in a place that no longer serves our needs or desires by continually recounting them. It's time to let go of the stories that we keep telling - over and over again. Some are funny, poignant, disturbing, even salacious. Don't we love those! - We of the MTV, VH1, TMZ, reality generation. We love the titillating stories that spread virally faster than the newest disease on the block. The old newspaper mantra was, "If it bleeds, it leads." And it's never been more true in our exploitation of life that we've come to know as "Reality TV." In fact, nothing is further from reality than these shows that are edited to create the most surreal moments one can imagine. They are edited to foster division, jealousy, and hatred. They are as untrue as the disturbing stories we tell about our lives.

It's time to let go. I mean, really let go. We need to stop telling the stories that we think define our lives. Our words are so powerful, they create the container within which we create our lives. I think of Ernest Holmes insightful words when he said, "We create with monotonous regularity the patterns of our past." But we don't have to. Our past does not have to equal our future unless we let it. We must stop with the "yes, but..." argument and then launch into another story that gives evidence to this faulty thinking. We must let go, with a vengeance, in order to the live the lives we are dreaming of. In the words of the immensely talented and intuitive astrologer, Maria De Simone, "Get a grip, but first you'll need to let go!"

We are creatures of habit, there's no denying that. We tend to get into a rut or habit of thinking that we are not even aware of and yet it is guiding our lives. It's much like the tail wagging the dog. But the moment our awareness kicks in, when we shine a flashlight on our thinking, we will become blatantly aware of it. Marianne Williamson, used to say, and I'm paraphrasing here, that the moment we become conscious of a habit or a thought, we have changed it simply by virtue of our attention to it - it simply cannot be the same - ever. In other words our attention to something has already begun the process for healing or change.

Begin to notice the stories that you tell; stories about yourself and about others. You'll notice that we are attracted to re-telling disturbing incidents. Consider something that happens that really pisses you off - the jerk in traffic, your big mouth friend, a boss that will never understand what you do, or the roommate that drank the bottle of champagne that you were saving for a special occasion, only to throw it up on your new Flokati rug. You might tell and re-tell those stories for a week or more. If it has a good or funny twist to it, it might make the rotation of your top ten stories that you love to tell. Now consider how many times you will talk about the flowers that your husband gave you for your birthday - a week in advance! Just to commemorate the beginning of your birthday week! (Thank you, sweetheart. They are beautiful!) Why don't those stories have staying power? They are nice moments in our lives but more often then not, they fade into the background.

It's time to start mining the positive things that happen to us for all they're worth. Begin to collect stories of all the positive things that happen to you - remember what you focus on expands. Keep a journal of wonderful memories in your life - go back as far as you can remember. A surprise birthday party when you were 16 will not only be a treasured moment to look back on, but will also be the catalyst for future times of surprise and joy for you. Begin a gratitude list, of things that are happening right in your life. Appreciation is a powerful force for creation. Begin to move your thoughts in the direction of where you want your life to go.

I find comfort in heeding the words of a learned Buddhist and scholar, Daisaku Ikeda when he says, "There may be times when life seems gloomy and dull. When we feel stuck in some situation or other, when we are negative toward everything, when we feel lost and bewildered, not sure which way to turn - at such times we must transform our passive mind-set and determine, 'I will proceed along this path, I will pursue my mission today.' When we do so a genuine springtime arrives in our heart and flowers start to blossom."

Small changes will pay off in big ways. Don't think that you have to aim for perfection in order for things to change. Just put a wrench in your patterns and habits that keep you stuck. Baby steps have a way of accumulating and amassing momentum for change. Just change one thing this week. Catch a thought mid-stream and decide you are not going to let it disturb you any more. Realize how feeble it is on its own. Realize that on it's own merit, it falls apart. For example, a fear thought crossed my mind the other day about my career and I caught it. I ran it through my head again and knew that it was a lie. I replaced it with a strong affirmation that poured out of the center of my being. As quickly as that, I banished a thought that had taken up residency in my mind for years. Imagine my relief. Now that thought has no hold on me anymore. It is not directing my actions. I have changed it forever. Immediately I saw the effect in my life, in subtle and not so subtle ways.

Here are a few more things you can do:

- Check out The Work, Byron Katie's powerful method of questioning your thoughts.
- Begin reciting the ABC's of powerfully charged words, advocated by the teaching of Abraham - A, appreciation; B, bliss; C, clarity and so on. Go all the way through the alphabet to Z and you'll see how this simple exercise will set you on a different course for your day.
- Check out Louise Hay's website where she offers a world of affirmations, books and CD's that will rock your world.

We are so much more powerful than the stories and thoughts we allow to define our lives. Simple exercises that interrupt our habitual mind chatter are powerful tools and they will change your life. You will begin to more easily let the things in that you want and it will begin an avalanche of change. You have begun to steer your life in the direction of your dreams.

This week, notice your words, notice your stories and make a conscious effort to let them go. In the wise words of Louise Hay, "What you think and what you believe will come true for you. Your thoughts create your life; it's that simple, and when we get that, we can make enormous changes."

I leave you with an inspiring video that my wonderful friend, Rachel forwarded to me. You will see how the man in this video has learned to defy his limitations and believe differently about them and his life. He personifies the words, "Not a word of truth in it."

Self Love 2.0

2010-05-23T10:45:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about something Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love said, "Life begins the day you drop the knife that you are holding to your own neck."

With so many options and examples in the world today of who we think we should be and how we should act, we sometimes find ourselves in a swirl of uncertainty that leaves us far from resembling the person we were born to be. Media, in all its splendor, brings us examples of people living extraordinary lives and doing extraordinary things and in comparison we feel relatively insignificant. It's that "Aha" moment that would mortify Oprah when we judge ourselves lacking in comparison to others. When we "compare and despair." Anne Lamott, author and speaker, calls it "psychic Spanx." We squeeze ourselves into these molds that keep us smaller and more contained in our attempt to people please and gain affection, happiness, power and everything we deem important in this life. We tend to lose ourselves for those things that we want. It's faulty problem solving, at best.

It's time to shed the Spanx like our grandmother's did their girdles and realize how precious and amazing we are. We must silence that critical voice in our heads, or at least send it to it's room for more extended periods of time. We tend to look at our circumstances and the lessons that we are going through and judge them, or ourselves harshly. We forget that it is those circumstances that help us become more of who we are. They help us uncover our divinity and bring more love and happiness to our lives, which in turn allows us to bestow to others.

It's time to stop berating ourselves so harshly. The self criticism must be replaced with self forgiveness. We must begin to understand and accept the perfection of the things that we are going through and know that each and every day we are doing our best. Each challenge that we encounter helps us reveal more of our own divinity. And right there in the center of your spiritual identity is you. In all your quirky idiosyncrasies there is no one like you. You were born uniquely qualified to bring your gift into this world. No one can take your place.

We must begin to honor ourselves as much as we would a best friend, or a lover, or the ones we idolize who we think are doing so much better than we are. When my best friend is going through a difficult time I suggest that he look at himself through my eyes for the truth. Or as Ann Lamott so succinctly puts it, "The self that is reflected in the love of your very best friends' eyes."

We are given opportunities to shed the skins that cover our true divinity every day. Or as the Buddhists say, opportunities to polish the diamond of our own enlightenment. But what does that mean? It means we get to look at our anger or resentments that we hold. We get to look at our beliefs, those thoughts that we keep on thinking, that no longer serve us. Thoughts that we hold as true but don't examine where they came from. We get to look at that anger that might reveal itself as an addiction or compulsive dieting or binging or shopping, smoking, drugs or the bitter mind chatter that has us arguing for our limitations.

They come up in our reality so we can see that they are no longer needed for our protection. They come to pass, not to stay. Or as my friend Jacob would say, "When you are going through hell, KEEP GOING - do not sit down and languish in the misery of it all." Do not stay and criticize and demean yourself. Drop the knife that you are holding to your own neck and realize that these circumstances have come into your life to help you become more of your magnificent self. It's time to turn the love hose back onto ourselves. It's the only way we can extend it to others. A starving man can never offer food to another. It's the only thing that will bring peace - peace to our own hearts and peace to a world that is too harshly extending its own judgment outwardly.

We hold all the power in our hands and hearts. Dare to think differently when a self loathing thought crosses your mind. You are standing up in the midst of a storm with all the courage you can muster, in order to reveal your divinity. It is brave and noble stance and it is worth your self approval. Love yourself where you are right now.

I leave you with a quote from Henry Miller who said, "If we have not found heaven within, it is a certainty we will not find it without."

Oh, Brother!

2010-04-13T08:26:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about something A Course In Miracles says, "Charity is a way of looking at another as if he had already gone far beyond his actual accomplishments in time." Wouldn't that be great if we actually did that? We all know that forgiveness is something that we do for ourselves in order to release the pain that is holding us back - it never has anything to do with the other person. You know that old adage about how holding on to anger and resentment is like "taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." But when we perceive another as if he's already accomplished his desires, that is a powerful act and a substantial contribution to another person.

When Jesus healed someone, it was because he saw that person as perfect. He held the perfection of the person in his consciousness. He did not see the disease, the problem or lack. In his presence, they were whole and then they would become that. This is why so many spiritual teachers do not want to hear our stories. They don't want to be dragged into our dysfunction or dis-ease. It is not the truth of who we are.

I was fortunate to know Ernest Holmes' Practitioner, Vetura Papke. She was my teacher and my Practitioner. The first time I made an appointment to see Vetura for spiritual guidance, she sat behind a desk in all her 80-some years of glory. She was as sweet looking as the kindest grandmother and she always smelled like flowers. As I began to lay out my woes, I noticed that she was mumbling something. I continued telling my story and the mumbling got worse. It was as if she wasn't even paying attention to me at all. Finally, I stopped and pointed out to her that I had waited a long time for this appointment and it didn't feel like I was getting her attention. She said, ever so sweetly, "Oh no dear, I hear you." "Then what is it that are you so adamantly mumbling," I asked. I'll never forget her answer. She said, "Not a word of truth in it. Not a word of truth in it."

She refused to see me the way I was describing myself. She knew that my story was not who I was. She held firmly to the truth of who I was; to my highest potential, my higher self. She would not give credence to my circumstances. Because of that I was able to rise to the vision that she held for me. She saw me as far beyond my actual accomplishment at the time. What would the world be like If we could do that for others? A Course In Miracles calls it true charity. We are, in essence, enabling one another to live up to dreams that we hold for ourselves.

If you pay any attention, at all, to politics these days, you'll notice how much division there is between people drawn along party lines. There is such nasty, vengeful derisiveness that it borders on violence. And it is building to a feverish pitch. It is the other side of the spectrum to that which The Course advocates. It is looking at the worst in people; concentrating on their faults and it is all done for political gain (or television ratings) and very little of it involves the truth, but that doesn't matter. Say something long enough, about yourself or another, and you will begin to believe it. The power of words should never be underestimated. It is a game forged for gain and it does not serve anyone. It is so detrimental because it only serves to degrade the world that we all live in.

Politics, notwithstanding, most attack comes from our own projection of guilt. We bury things we've done in the past, that we are not proud of, and then seek to disown the guilt. Then we project it onto another person and feel justified in attacking them. That vicious cycle only exacerbates separation and personal despair.

When will we get it that we are all one? To quote Jesus again - not to put him in the spotlight too much but we just celebrated that resurrection thing and I figure he deserves it - "And whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, you do to me." The law of cause and effect is as alive in our world as is the law of gravity. What goes around comes around. Quantum physics also weighs in heavily on this topic with string theory. We're all part of a cosmic field that unifies us.

The power we hold is undeniable and we can use it any way we choose. As Marianne Williamson says, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.." And we are. If we are mindful of our actions we can create an unbelievable world for ourselves and others. The Talmud tells us that, "A light for one is a light for a hundred." We cannot forge good deeds for others without reaping benefit. We are all intrinsically connected.

This week I encourage you write down any guilt that you might be feeling. Guilt is the most destructive and useless emotion and it is usually a lie. Ask yourself the 4 questions that Byron Katie asks in The Work, starting with, "Is it true?" Set yourself free of the guilt that holds you back from seeing yourself and your brother as innocent, worthy, valuable and important. Practice unrelenting forgiveness for yourself so that you might see more clearly. Anyone or anything that bugs the shit of you is your key to areas in your own life that need attention and forgiveness.

THEN...

Practice seeing others living far beyond their actual accomplishments. See your best friend as the actress she wants to be; your husband thriving in the career that he loves; your sister being the mother that she longs to be. These thoughts become powerful waves of vibration that impact us and the people in our lives, much like prayer. We are all one and we must begin to act like it. Let's take the high road this week and begin to see each other as perfect. Let's hold each other in the highest esteem. I believe it will change the world.

I leave you this week with a quote from the Buddhist author and philosopher, Daisaku Ikeda who said, "Great people never forget what others have done for them."

Powerfully Remembering

2010-02-23T08:21:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about something Dr. Robert Holden, Director of the Happiness Project said about control. He said, "Shift happens – when you let go!" Too much control can cramp creativity, cause power struggles, block flow and upset relationships." Now, I don't know about you but this new year seems to be seriously kicking butt. It's requiring an unparalleled vigilance to let go! - Letting go of thoughts that no longer serve us, letting go of pain from the past, letting go of grievances toward ourselves and others and letting go of our limiting thoughts. It's as if the universe is conspiring for our good in an unrelenting manner. Ready or not, here we go.

We have been asking and make no mistake, we are getting answers. Unfortunately, sometimes we don't like the answers that we get. Can we be happy and fulfilled without having to change? Apparently not. It was Einstein who said, “You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created.” In other words, if we seek to solve our problems from the level of the brain and logic, relying on the same source from which we created them, we only perpetuate what I call faulty problem solving. We must no longer funnel our actions through the pain of our past. It will always color our results and give us more of the same. In this year, like no other, we are being asked to give up our limiting thoughts and beliefs in order to create the lives that we seek. The past does not have to equal the future and yet we rely on the past to give us the vision of tomorrow. That's all about to change. We live in a time of unparalleled opportunity.

It is time to reach beyond our pain and our history and our fears, step out of those thoughts that continue to create unwanted circumstances and let go with a vengeance. I believe that 2010 is giving us more opportunity to let go. I am feeling it stronger than ever and I believe it's because we've been asking, universally and individually, stronger than ever. As we continue to ask, pray and request change, the pressure becomes greater in our lives to make those internal changes that are holding us back.

As the great thinkers know anything we seek must begin within us. Nothing is outside of ourselves. As Gandhi put it, "We must become the change that we want to see." And Daisaku Ikeda, Buddhist leader and philosopher says,"A great revolution in just a single individual will help achieve a change in the destiny of a nation, and further, will enable a change in the destiny of humankind." We are powerful beyond measure - not only to create the dreams in our own lives, but to change the world. I believe we've come to the limit of tolerance for settling. No longer can we live the small lives that our limiting beliefs have created. We've put out the strong edict...ENOUGH.

I don't know about you, but I have a tendency to postpone my good while I'm working hard for it. Sounds silly, I know. I forgot to trust the process and I took back the reigns of control believing more in what I could make happen through virtue of hard work. I got so caught up in the work that I kept creating more work. Remember, what we focus on gets bigger. I forgot to let go and trust my higher good. I forgot to have faith in a mystic law that creates unfathomable good in our lives. I forgot.

I thought I could make it all happen and force my dreams into place. Then I remembered that my job is to be responsible for myself on a deeply committed level and let the effect of those causes play out naturally in my environment. I do not have to run around fixing everything in my world; I must be more concerned with tuning in to a heart and a mind whose intentions are creating my world. I must quickly dismiss any thought that relies on past circumstances telling me that 'I can't do this or that,' 'that will never work,' 'that doesn't make sense.' I must reach for the higher thought, the truth that speaks quietly behind those doubts - that voice of my higher self that reminds me of Jesus' words when he said, "...and greater works than these shall you do..."

Let's not let the thoughts of worry, about a future that isn't even real and might never come, invade our minds. Let's be vigilant and let go of the past and residual voices that hold us back. We must unequivocally take a stand and say - sorry, but you're not welcome here any more. As Esther Hicks, teacher of the Abraham material, says to those pesky voices, "Thank you for sharing now go to your room." Let's refuse them anymore entry into our lives and our world. Let's take powerful responsibility for our lives and change them in a manner that "will enable a change in the destiny of humankind." Let's enable the good and let go of control that fosters old, unwanted behavior.

If you need to know which areas of your life need adjustment, listen to your own words. As you offer advice to another listen carefully to the wisdom and guidance you are giving, because it remains true that we teach best what we need to learn.

2010 is leaning on us hard to give us what we've been asking for. This is the year. It is rife with opportunity and relentless in its request for us to let go. What is called for here is diligent attention to returning to the truth of who we are and trusting the relationship between our higher selves and our universe to deliver our hearts desire. I'm committed. Who's with me?

I leave you with a wonderful quote from John F Kennedy who said, "...Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future."

Faith or Fear?

2010-01-16T11:36:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the adage, "the past does not equal the future." Unfortunately, for most of us it does. As Ernest Holmes used to say, "We create with monotonous regularity the patterns of our past." It's 2010! Aren't you ready to break free of those patterns that keep recreating situations that you no longer want? I sure am!

When we rely on our past to guide us through our future, consciously or unconsciously, we are asking for the same outcome. When we create our future based on the pain of our past it does not result in happiness. Caroline Myss, author and teacher, tells us that "True healing requires that we find a route beyond our pain so it does not control us or cause us to want to punish or control others."

So what do we do? Our past does not go away. It's part of who we are. And make no mistake, it has made us into the wonderful human beings that we are today. But when there is unresolved pain or fear attached to our past it has a way of impacting our future. It also begins to create disease in our bodies as a result of the dis-ease in our minds. If you find problems in your relationships, career, family and health that continue to surface, chances are that they are signs of an unresolved past. This is good because this is the way we are directed to the root of our problems, our pain and our unhappiness. We can no longer blame anything or anyone outside of ourselves. There is a common denominator in every problem you have...you!

This is the good news. It means we have the power to change it. This is inner transformation. This will change our destiny because we are not doing the same thing and expecting different results - which, I believe, is the definition of insanity. Caroline goes on to say that, "this type of inner work demands we defeat our reasoning minds and enlist deeper resources within ourselves, namely the power of our souls. And getting in touch with that power is, without a doubt, an act of grace generously given to those who ask." I believe we are all asking. And when we do, answers reveal themselves in unexpected ways.

When you feel fear or discomfort as you proceed in a new direction in your life, you can be sure that it is linked to a painful past - it's hitting on a memory like cold water hits on a cavity. This is your sign. Your negative emotions are the best indicator of what's amiss. From this place there are so many things you can do to release its grip. You can do Byron Katie's, The Work; move up the emotional scale with the aid of tools from Abraham. You can pray and invoke your spiritual guides; or chant a strong and powerful Buddhist chant and then move forward with that new determination. You may simply need to forgive yourself or another by writing about it. It usually has nothing to do with another person. Healing happens at the level of the heart. Sometimes, simply becoming aware of something is all that is needed. It discharges the energy it has to miscreate in your life. We are constantly being directed toward our good and there is help, seen and unseen, all along the way. I recently reminded myself, by way of a friend's inquisition, that "If you knew Who walks beside you on the way that you have chosen, fear would be impossible." – A Course in Miracles

We are demanding that 2010 be the year that delivers the good that we've been holding at bay. We will no longer subscribe to the fear of our limiting beliefs. We must begin to act from faith not fear. Faith, that we are being guided to our most perfect grace; not F.E.A.R - false evidence appearing real. When we poke at that fear, it's reality will disappear and the evidence of it in our lives will be gone.

I have been addressing money concerns differently this year and already getting markedly different results. I am consciously choosing not to think with the mind and memories of my past on the subject. I choose instead to think with the power of my soul and invoke all the help that I know surrounds me. If fear comes up, I lean heavily upon my faith and know with a strong inner knowing that all is well and getting better by the moment. My next step will be one of confidence knowing that I am boldly being directed to my good. I choose faith over fear because I have taken responsibility for my past and everything that happens in my life - I can't even blame the economy for it - that would leave me powerless and impotent to affect my future.

My friend, Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup fame, puts it well when he says, "...fear is self created by focusing on something in the future that hasn't happened yet." And we base that fear on our past. Let's stop perpetuating and creating fear. Let's bless our past for all that it continues to teach us and move boldly into 2010, confident that we are creating the lives we desire.

I leave you this week with a quote from Thoreau, who said it best! "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined."

Happiness Realized

2009-12-29T08:41:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about happiness and why it's so important. In fact it's the most important thing we can do in life. But so many reasons, habits and "shoulds" have blocked us from pursuing our own happiness.

We've been told that it's a selfish endeavor and we should think of others first. Having an Italian, Catholic background this not only sounded right to me, but it felt right. It was genetically accurate as far as I was concerned. Being a martyr was the calling of my DNA as I watched my grandmother sweat in the kitchen, suffer for her family and say with regularity, "you'll be sorry when I'm gone." It's no wonder her last name was Martorella! I kid you not. Clearly, I was born to suffer for the good of others - but without donning the black veil. That would be a bit over the top. But without question, coming from the Puritanical path that built this Country and being indoctrinated in the great American work ethic, we've been taught that we must work hard for the good of others. But when we forget ourselves in the process, being the good Christian, Jew, Catholic or what have you, we become like the starving man trying to feed others.

I think I talked before about what my wish for the world would be, if I were given one wish - and it couldn't be to have an infinite number of wishes. (I thought I had that one figured out as a kid.) But if I truly had only one wish, it would be that everyone would constantly feel like they were in love. Think about how wonderful the world looked from that perspective; how kind and compassionate you were to everyone because it naturally came from your joy. I seriously doubt that hunger, war or hatred could survive if the dominant emotion on this planet was love. It wasn't until I was older that I realized that that feeling is the feeling of true happiness that we were born to have.

Since it's true that there is no one out there but ourselves and that we are the playwright of our own reality, then our own happiness is a significant barometer in what we create. Psychologists call it projection. We simply project our internal awareness, whether good or bad, onto people and onto the world and thus create our lives. It is no surprise that our thoughts create. What we think and what we believe becomes our lives. However, more potent still are the feelings that drive those thoughts. When beliefs, which are just thoughts we keep on thinking, are fueled by strong emotion, our power of creation is exponentially packed. When there is anger and hatred behind a belief, our world is full of judgment, bigotry and war. When happiness and joy feed our beliefs, our lives and the world become a very different place. The book, Ask and It Is Given, by my good friends Esther and Jerry Hicks, gives great insight to how powerfully our emotions attract circumstances into our lives. (The link is in "My Library.")

There is no doubt that we create our world, and if happiness is cultivated, it becomes the back-drop of our creation. It is the most important thing we can do for our lives and for this world. It is our own internal joy that will propel vast goodwill, which will foster the healing of pain. The beauty of this happiness and joy is that is exists inside ourselves. We look for it in so many other places first - our education, career, family, financial standing - when in fact it resides within us and has all along. It will never be found outside of ourselves, even if we attain everything that we "think" will make us happy. It brings to mind something Terry Cole-Whittaker, author of What You Think of Me is None of My Business, among other books, would say. "The thing you're waiting to have happen before you make the commitment happens after you make the commitment." In other words, a commitment to yourself is necessary in order to realize your desires. It's opposite of how the world has taught us. Go to the good school, get the grades, the job, the family and then you will be happy and successful. We all know people with all these things who are fundamentally unhappy wondering, "Is this all there is?"

When you are happy, irrespective of external circumstances, life is sweet and you feel good. This vibration that causes good things to come our way. They are the feelings that foster our desire to help one another, to be kind to one another. Contrast that against trying to help others when we ourselves are unhappy. It only causes more unhappiness.

No matter how much we might think otherwise, we are all one. You cannot do something to another person without doing it to yourself. Spiritually we are told that we are all part of the same source - God, love, the universe - by whatever name you call it. Quantum physicists tell us that we are all connected by an intelligent field. We affect ourselves by our actions to another. That is why, as my Science of Mind teachers used to tell me, "You cannot out give God." When you are happy and do something kind to another, you feel great. The better you feel the more you raise your vibration, the higher your vibration, the more attractive it is to the things you desire. It is good followed by more good - you cannot out give God. Christians call it the Golden Rule - do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Buddhists call it Cause and Effect - what you do comes back to you.

So, what is it that stands in the way of us being happy? Our past? Our beliefs about ourselves? Our judgments about ourselves as we compare ourselves to the rest of the world? All of it, I believe, which is why we must begin with our own thoughts and feelings. In this coming new year, try to look at yourself through the eyes of that "being in love" place. We would never treat a person who we were in love with the way we treat ourselves. Begin to focus on the perfection of who you are - we are innocent and we are love. Daisaku Ikeda, Buddhist philosopher and author, tells us that, "There is an expansive life-state of profound, secure happiness that transcends any material or social advantage. It is called faith, it is called the life-state of Buddhahood."

As you stand-up for the truth of who you are, things unlike it may surface. Be quick to forgive yourself or another realizing that everything happens for a reason. Mostly, that reason is to learn compassion and to uncover the truth about ourselves and others. A Course In Miracles says that, "The miracle does nothing. All it does is to undo. And thus it cancels out the interference to what has been done. It does not add, but merely takes away." Let the miracle in your life be the undoing of all that has covered your innate happiness. When you do, your joy will automatically rise to the top like a cork that was being held under water. It naturally wants to spring to the surface and when you let go, it will. When you pop that cork on New Year's think of all the joy and happiness that will naturally come forth out of your very being. Begin to feel the joy and happiness in your life and it will expand. War will never end with weapons. It will only cease when we find the place of peace and joy within our own lives and then extend it to another. Let's bombard one another with the kindness in 2010 - that kindness that will naturally be born from our happiness. It's easy to be joyful when happiness is your dominant vibration. Let's lead with joy in 2010 and see how profoundly we'll change the world simply by becoming happy.

I leave you this week with another gift from my friend, Jacob. It's his New Year's Booklet and I highly recommend it. It will set you on the right track for 2010.

I also leave you with a quote from Helen Keller who encouraged us to keep our thoughts high when she said, "No pessimist ever discouvered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit."

Simply Wonderful

2009-11-24T08:13:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about a very deep and very wise admonition A Course In Miracles gives to "Avoid the temptation to perceive yourself as unfairly treated."

This is a big one for me because given the opportunity, I could easily dwell in feeling sorry for myself. But the minute I do, I have just set into motion opportunities for circumstances to enter my life that help me feel like a victim. I've opened the door for those types of possibilities to be let in. Remember, we create what we focus on, wanted or unwanted. We live in a compliant universe. It always agrees with what we think and gives us more of that - I'm stupid. Yes you are. I'm happy. Yes you are. I'm rich, pretty, successful, attractive; whatever it may be the universe is quick to provide agreement and give of us evidence that our thoughts are right.

It is increasingly easy in today's world to perceive ourselves as unfairly treated, as victims of circumstances, when things like the economy seem to upset our apple cart. It becomes easy to point to a specific person or thing and deem them responsible for our unhappiness. It is clearly outside of ourselves, right? When we perceive the world this way we slide into the vicious cycle of blame, anger and separation. It keeps the position of victim strong and we all know what that attracts - more circumstances that allow us to feel sorry for ourselves. That is not a happy life. None of it serves our lives. We are first cause of everything - plain and simple.

No one seems to be going through these times unscathed. People everywhere are being pressured to let go of patterns and give up thoughts that have not served them. Like the rock that endures tremendous heat and pressure, we are given the opportunity to become diamonds. But it requires us to let go of the patterns of our past. We must wake up and become conscious of the thoughts we keep on thinking that keep sustaining the life that we keep on getting. Dr. Ernest Holmes said it best, "We create with monotonous regularity the patterns of our past." ...Until we seek to change our minds.

Along with these difficult times we are being given tremendous opportunity for change. Old ways of being are dying and giving birth to new beginnings. We are being asked to give up patterns and thoughts that have held us back so we can have everything we've ever dreamed of. It easy for us to be convinced that things are bad. It's time to make the switch and be convinced of how good things can be. As Marianne Williamson would say, "Ask for what wonderful looks like." Let's not hold on to being "sufferers" who perceive ourselves as unfairly treated. Let's take responsibility for what we create in our lives so that we can create anew.

How best do we begin to shed this old skin? Awareness is the first step. Once you become conscious of your patterns you automatically begin to diffuse them. Also, there is nothing more potent or positively attractive than gratitude and appreciation. It is fitting in this time we set aside for Thanksgiving that I ask you to become an avid appreciator. Begin to notice everything that is good in your life and everything that is going right. There is so much. Instead of looking in the mirror and seeing flaws, notice the perfection there is to behold. When I would look at a photograph of myself that I didn't like, my wise Italian mother would say to me, "You're going to love it in 10 years!" She was right. But let's not wait. Let's love and appreciate ourselves now and be grateful for the wonderful lives we have been given. Remember, we get what we focus on, whether wanted or unwanted. Let's focus on wonderful this week.

Finally, take a look at my friend Jacob's Daily Pages post. His 30 day suggestion is exactly what's called for here. I strongly suggest you try it for the next 30 days - I am going to. Let's take this journey together and watch wonderful unfold in ways we've never dreamed of.

I leave you this week, with a quote from Meister Eckhart who said, "If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would be enough.”

Joy Rising

2009-11-09T11:10:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about something a guest on The Oprah Show said. Oprah was talking about the Flash Mob Dance that opened her season this year, which was a big and delightful surprise for her. When she questioned one of the participants about his experience in the process, he remarked that it felt like "joy rising." Well put, I thought. It reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from Abraham, "Let your joy rise to the top." It's a powerful edict, but so often ignored for more "important" issues.

It seems, especially in times that are economically stressful, we tend to sublimate our joy and happiness in lieu of areas that we think are more important. We work hard on those things that we think will deliver us the and joy and happiness that we seek - the perfect relationship, kids, career, money and home. We're working from the outside in trying to get all our ducks in a row and it's hard. It's especially hard in times like these when worry is rampant and fear dominates our news cycle and then our lives. When everyone is afraid and talks about how bad things are, it becomes easier to believe that it is true. Then our lives manifest those beliefs - form follows thought - and before you know it we've attracted the things we fear. Wars are raging, people are losing their jobs and their homes, and things are in a very unsettling flux. Then we wonder, 'how can I be happy when I can't even pay my rent? Perhaps we should consider adopting happiness so we CAN pay our rent.

I think this is the most important thing we can do for ourselves and for our world. To seek our happiness first is the vital first step. Joy and happiness are powerful magnets in this universe. If any of you have children, you know that they barely listen to what you say but they mimic with startling accuracy everything you do. If you seek your own internal happiness barometer first, they will learn from you how to do it for themselves. What an invaluable gift we would be giving the next generation on this planet. We only want for them happiness anyway, right? We must teach it through our actions. It's important to ban the thoughts that we're just being selfish. A starving man can't offer anyone food. Or as our stewardesses tell us, "Put your oxygen mask on first." We must begin to sustain ourselves with the powerful element of joy. It will change our lives and change the world. Imagine if everyone did it.

By now, we all know that what we focus on becomes our point of attraction. The more we focus on something, the more we see it clearly around us and the more we get to experience it. Try thinking of something, anything - white Prius', blue crystal vases - anything. Then just notice how many times a day those things will cross your path. It's the same thing with our thoughts. When we throw emotions into the mix, we've created exponential attraction. Joy begets more joy, which is an attractive element for more joyful opportunities to be drawn to us.

Let's make a conscious effort to end the thoughts that make us feel bad. I'm not saying to ignore issues in your life that cause you pain. I'm not negating your pain. I am asking you to once again exercise positive denial. Change the story you tell yourself about your painful situation. Haven't you suffered enough?

I finally set myself free when I changed the story around my father's death. He died when I was barely 2 years old - so much pain, so many false stories built around it. I lived years as a victim as a result. The only thing you get from the belief that you are a victim is more opportunities to be one - what we concentrate on becomes our point of attraction. I was right about the situation, but I was not happy. It wasn't until I changed my story around his death that I changed my life. Again, positive denial. I changed my mind about what it meant. I changed my story. I even changed the way I told the story and it changed my life. Positive denial does not say that the facts did not happen, that's negative denial. We cannot pretend something didn't happen. We deal it with the pain and then we tell ourselves a different story. The story that was meant to bring us those invaluable lessons. The Buddhist philosopher and author, Daisaku Ikeda, tells us that, "You are the playwright of your own victory."

Positive denial neutralizes the power the facts have over our lives by stripping them of their fear. All that's left are the lessons and the gifts they bring. All that's left is the love. Once we've created the new scenario it's important to follow-up by affirming a deeper truth. In the case of my father, I changed the painful story of abandonment into the gifts that were meant to enrich my life. I began to list them. It was a startling and empowering eye-opener. Why hadn't I been concentrating on these things all along? I began to feel the strong presence of my father after that. There is no distance in the heart. He would always be with me and his exit from this physical world was exactly what I needed, on a soul level. I became, "the playwright of my own victory," instead of the wounded actor.

Joy, happiness, peace and love are the most important things we can mine in our lives. Not only does it make us happy right here, right now, it also sets the stage for future happiness. It becomes the attraction for better things to come. We teach by example. Everyone will begin to take notice and want it for themselves. Joy is contagious Things will begin to change in this world. They already have. I believe all the difficulty we are experiencing is the apple cart of fear being turned over because of all the compassion and love that is being proliferated. It's not unusual to hear stories of hope, spirituality, forgiveness and gratitude in the media. This wasn't the case even ten years ago. We've begun the change and the old paradigm is crumbling. We're telling a better story, and it's replacing much of the fear in this world with hope. We are beginning to release the fears that grip our own hearts. They are not true. It's time to let go of their affect.

Happiness, joy and fun are not frivolous. They are some of the most important elements that we need to change our lives and to change the world.

I would encourage you this week to "Let your joy rise to the top." Pay attention to the things that make you happy. Watch Flash Mob videos or participate in one! Spend time with a good friend, a family member that you love; lend a hand to someone. Pick-up Dr. Christiane Northrup's CD The Power of Joy. It will make you smile while it imparts wonderful information for your head and heart. It doesn't have to be anything big. There are so many small things that happen throughout the day that elicit joy. My friend Jacob and I celebrate "Red Cup Days" at Starbucks - their official launch of the holidays. My husband finds happiness and joy in beautiful music and our house sings as a result. Keb' Mo's new CD Live & Mo' greets me when I walk through the door after a long day. My fatigue disappears because joy has replaced it. It changes the entire atmosphere of the evening. Simple. Powerful. Very important. Small moments hooked together become our entire lives. Why not make those moments joyful?

Find your joy this week, whatever that might be for you. If a situation or problem arises, in contrast, it will be your opportunity to join me in practicing positive denial. Most worry persists because we believe in a scary story that we tell ourselves about our future. The future never has to come to pass that way if you change your thoughts in the moment. Stay in the present, change the story and mine for fun this week. It will show up where you least expect it.

I often think of the words, attributed to "anonymous," which leads me to believe that it is the combined sentiment of many - another inspiring and uplifting thought that I like to have - they are, “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

I leave you with a touching video that reminds me of the overwhelming good in people, and that...makes me very happy.

Watch CBS News Videos Online

Our Inner Lizard

2009-10-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about something a Practitioner teacher of mine used to say, "Left to our own devices we tend to make things up on the downside." In other words, we tend to believe the worse case scenario in a given situation, especially when we don't have all the information. Perhaps someone makes a casual comment or remark and we think to ourselves, 'what's that supposed to mean?' Before you know it we've made up some horrible story around a few simple words only to find that it was not the case at all. We've made it up on the downside. We've tapped into a false belief about ourselves that has us convinced that we've done something wrong that merits punishment. Talk about a happiness buster!

Why do we make things up on the downside? Left to its own devices, we have an inner dialogue constantly running amok in our heads that tries to convince us that we are not good enough and never will be. It is that critical voice of our parent, a teacher or that perfectionist that holds up a stick that we could never measure up to. We also live in a world that continues to reinforce our feelings of inadequacy The Ralph Lauren model who made headline news this week is a perfect example. The ad department for Ralph Lauren Photoshopped so much weight off of a model's body, it made her head look freakishly large. If you click on the link above, scroll down the page and see what she really looks like. We are being fed the message that her looks are just not good enough. No wonder young girls develop eating disorders and the diet industry is a multi-billion dollar industry.

These and other industries are dedicated to feeding our inner critic and it bombards us with fodder for our discontent. It keeps alive an inner dialogue that stops us from getting the things we want out of life. Remember, we create what we focus on - wanted or unwanted. When that inner negative rumble feeds our insecurities it gets reinforced by strong emotion and then it becomes our dominant point of attraction. We wonder why life isn't working out the way we want it to, completely oblivious to the voice that runs in the background - we've grown used to it. It's almost as if we're running on autopilot. The tail is wagging the dog. And then we wonder why we aren't living our dreams.

That's all about to change.

It's time to blow the cover on that inner critic, expose it to the light and remind ourselves that I'm onto to you! Once you become aware of something, by virtue of your attention to it, it must change. Marianne Williamson used to say that conscious awareness is the first act of healing. We heal by noticing - it's as simple as that. A Course In Miracles calls that inner voice our ego self; Buddhism calls it the small ego; and Martha Beck calls this voice our inner lizard. We do not want to judge that part of ourselves or call it wrong, we simply acknowledge it in order to discharge its power. Martha Beck appeases her lizard with a peanut, while Abraham suggests that we thank it for sharing and then send it to its room.

I suggest you forge a strong connection with your source by whatever name you call it - God, The Universe, Your Higher Self, your Buddha Nature or Love. This is the truth of who we are. It is not something outside ourselves that we have to besiege in order to have good things in life - that's Santa Clause. I'm talking about highlighting the truth and making it dominant in your life by whatever means you deem effective - chanting, meditating, affirmations, gratitude lists - they are all effective. By practicing those things more throughout our day we affect those inner voices. Our default then begins to switch away from the knee jerk reaction of negativity - making things up on the down side - toward our more enlightened self, which bends over backwards to give us our heart's desire. When we begin to shift our point of attraction to a positive one, our lives change, our circumstances change and it becomes easier to focus on what's good and what's going right. The inner dialogue shifts.

This is profoundly different than just "thinking positively." That often comes across as void of compassion and an arrogant way of correcting another without dealing with our own lives. That would be negative denial - or as my friend Jacob would say, "putting pink icing on a shit cake." What we are doing is addressing the facts head on while refuting that they have any power over us. By all means deal with any negative voice that consistently reinforces pain by talking to someone - a therapist, minister, counselor, Rabbi or Practitioner. Find a way to appropriately vent your pain as you seek to let it go. Stop letting it leak out by complaining or calling something chronic or constant talk about how "that's just my luck." It does not serve our lives, it just perpetuates circumstances that we do not want. I'm talking about subscribing to a force that holds the galaxies in place. The Universe is so compliant that it seeks to give us what we want. Let's stop feeding it with our negative voices. Begin to recognize and acknowledge when you attract good things in your life, things that go right. Talk about those things more than you talk about what's wrong.

It is time to get a very strong vision for our lives - what it's about and what we are going to focus on. It begins by becoming conscious of our thoughts, our negative tapes. Just notice. We heal by noticing. Let's begin to notice what's going right, not what's going wrong as our training and our world has taught us. These are important times and we will change our lives by reaching deep within for a lasting and eternal truth that resides there, not by trying to get things from without.

I leave you this week with the very wise words from a dominant voice in forging peace in the world today, Daisaku Ikeda. A philosopher, educator, author and third president of the Soka Gakkai lay Buddhist organization. His yearly peace proposals submitted to the United Nations have made a profound impact on world leaders. Take heed to his words when he says, "Such things as money, fame and material possessions offer a fleeting satisfaction, something that can be called relative happiness. However, when we transform our lives internally, when we develop within ourselves a brilliant inner palace, then we can said to have established absolute happiness. If we develop a state of mind as vast and resplendent as a magnificent palace, then nothing - no matter where we go or what we may encounter in life - can undermine or destroy our happiness."

I also leave you with a video of someone who embodies positive denial - recognizing the facts but refuting the power they have over her. She refused to listen to the negative voices and made it up on the "upside!"

Divided We Fall

2009-10-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we perpetuate separation. It's that look out for number one, get what you can, greed mentality that got us into this economic mess in the first place. It's easy to look at Wall Street and the banking system and blame it on their greed and lack of regulation, but make no mistake, we contribute to that pot every time we blame, criticize or demean ourselves or another. We must begin to look at our actions as directly contributing to the whole - good or bad. We do not live in a vacuum. Quite the contrary.

Spiritual teachers tell us that we are all expressions emanating from the mind of God or the Universe. Scientists tell us that, as energetic beings living in an energetic world, we don't stop at our skin. Physicists tell us that the quantum particles that we are made up of are always in constant communication with each other whether they are in our body or in another's. Metaphysical teachers tell us that there is one Spirit individualized in each of us. Whatever you choose to believe, I think we can all agree that there is more to us than meets the eye. Even the most pragmatic amongst us understands that our presence impacts our environment.

I was so disappointed this last week as I saw some people take such great delight in President Obama's failure to secure the Olympics for Chicago. And, when a Congressman screamed out "You lie!" in the middle of a joint Congressional address to the country, I was taken aback by how divisive we've become. Us and them, a camp divided - so much anger. Whichever way you lean politically, it is important to understand that we are not singling ourselves out when fostering that kind of separation. In the ego's undying attempt to make us right, better and special we have just projected every one of our fears and shortcomings onto another. We think we've just set ourselves head and shoulders above the pack, when in fact we've just called ourselves a liar and a failure.

We are so busy trying to prove our own superiority that we have suffered the whole as a result. Is our country any better? Are we working together to solve the world's problems or are we just posturing for personal gain? It's easy to point a finger at politics, but it just represents our individual consciousnesses. Neville Goddard, author of The Power of Awareness puts it beautifully when he says, "Man's chief delusion is his conviction that there are causes other than his own state of consciousness."

We all contribute to our world and we make a choice at each moment what that contribution will be. When we demean, embarrass or belittle another, we merely exacerbate separation on all levels. Because we are such powerful creators, together we set the stage for either peace or war. I had a teacher who used to say that the only thing you should do behind someone's back is pat it. Let's "man up," "grow a backbone" and step out on the side of each other. Nothing feels better than contributing to the good of another - and because we are all one, it becomes a self-serving act. Let's feed that lovely "quantum incubator of all possibilities" that Gregg Braden talks about, with more love and less fear. Aren't you tired of hearing the battle rage when you turn on talk shows or the news? Aren't you tired of all the anger and the fear it instills?

Let's take our cue from the Counsel of Elders, a group of world leaders selected by Nelson Mandela who are committed to contributing their wisdom, leadership and integrity to tackle the key challenges facing the world today.

I would encourage you this week to get to the bottom of any anger that you have in your own life that continues to be projected out into the world as attack. This is deep and this is powerful. When you are willing to be changed on the level of cause and take ultimate responsibility for your life and how it contributes to the whole, you have just waged the most profound kind of peace there is. When we give up our attack thoughts, the ones that rage within us, we will begin to see our adversaries differently...we will begin to see our brothers.

I leave you this week with a quote by Rossabelle Believe who said, "Let there be such oneness between us, that when one cries, the other tastes salt."

Don't Should On Yourself!

2009-09-29T07:59:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about how self critical we have become. We berate ourselves for falling short of some imaginary goal that we set for ourselves. Worse yet, we have a habit of replaying scenarios over and over again in our heads of how we should have handled a situation differently - things we should have said, ways we should have acted. We degrade ourselves and judge ourselves as inferior. We are often far more critical of ourselves than we are of others. We are judge and jury and pronounce a sentence that is extreme and leaves us feeling guilty and shameful. We punish ourselves and then we do the next inevitable thing; we begin to attack others to make ourselves feel better. "Well if she hadn't been so stubborn, I would have never..." It starts a vicious cycle of attack. It's time to let ourselves off the hook. It's time to promote inner peace in a way we've never done before. These times are calling for a radical change. We must forge the waters of inner peace in ways we've never done before by changing the inner landscape of our minds.

When we attack ourselves it is no different than attacking someone else. Since we live in an energetic world where thoughts and feelings relay messages that affect the whole, when we attack ourselves we send a message of fear that is felt by everyone. The response to fear is often attack, blame or defensiveness. Katie Byron, founder of The Work tells us that defense is the first act of war. A Course In Miracles tells us that "In my defenselessness, my safety lies." Having remorse for treating yourself or another person badly is normal. The action called for is forgiveness. Forgiveness of someone else, forgiveness of yourself. As my friend Jacob wisely tells us, "Mistakes call for correction, not punishment." We need to learn from them and then move on. More often than not we punish ourselves significantly more than the alleged crime warrants. How can we learn compassion for others if we lack it for ourselves? "I should be this way, I should have done this, I shouldn't be so..." I had a teacher who used to say, "Don't should on yourself!" If we, for just one week, wrote down all the "shoulds" we impose upon ourselves, it would shock us at the impossible task masters we have become. Who could live by all those rules? Who could live up to that kind of perfection? And yet, this template becomes the one by which we set our standards. We don't even question where these rules come from. And the disappointment of not measuring up to these preconceived standards resides in the background of our lives and adds to our mild or even perhaps extreme discontent.

I'm asking you to give yourself a break. Let yourself off the hook this week. Ease up on all those strict standards and relax in the knowledge that you're doing the best you can. We make life so much more difficult than it has to be. If we ease up a little on our impossible rules, we will begin to feel a natural release from guilt - guilt that we tend to project onto others and then judge them by. We will then begin to see others differently because we will break the chain of defensiveness and blame. We are always first cause. It always starts with us and that's the good news. It gives us the power to change it.

We think all hell will break loose if we relax our standards, but once again it's the opposite; all peace would break loose. We are living by man made, self imposed, seemingly impossible rules; by which we then judge the rest of the world. If we are trying to become happy then that is faulty problem solving at its best. The solution here is inner peace. That may sound like a lofty ideal but it is, in fact, the best contribution we can make toward a more peaceful world. Berate and judge or soothe, forgive and relax the inner critic? Which one are you willing to project today? Inner peace is the beginning of the kind of life that we seek - a life of incredible joy, love and overwhelming good.

I would encourage you to relax this week. Take a vacation from all the "shoulds" you've been burdening yourself with. Check in with Byron Katie whose soul purpose is to teach people how to end their own suffering. Remind yourself of how often you get things right. If you're mind is being insufferable, make a list of them. If you still can't find peace in a given situation, pretend it's your best friends' problem and they are coming to you for advice. Extend to yourself the compassion that you would give your friend. Be easy on yourself this week. You're doing the best you can. Relax in the knowledge that you are loved and all is well.

I leave you this week with a quote from PM Forni, M.D. who said, “We are all the trustees of one another’s happiness and well being in life.”

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!

2009-09-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the insidiousness of complaining and how it undermines our happiness. It is cunning and deceiving because we have learned to live with it as normal. It is pervasive and infiltrates every manner of life; it exists in the background of our lives as a constant hum that we don't even realize is there. It often feels good to gripe or complain about something or someone else - it becomes habitual and it will corrupt our every effort toward happiness, peace and joy. It seems harmless, a passing flip comment, a criticism of ourselves and others, a quiet, breeding dissatisfaction about the general nature of things, and yet the damage it wreaks is severe. It is the antithesis of appreciation and while it seems innocent, observational and perhaps even constructive, in its very nature it sets up a chain of effects that suffers our happiness as a consequence.

When we complain, we also give away a great deal of our power to incite change of the very things, in fact, that we are complaining about. I know it sounds like a trite metaphysical tenet, but it's important to understand it because we do it so unconsciously that we don't even realize how much we tolerate. It's a gentle dissatisfaction with which we've become used to. It becomes the tail that is wagging the dog. When asked the simple question, "How are you?" We often answer with a tepid, "Fine." Our knee-jerk dissatisfaction response has kicked in and our brains are running through thoughts of complaints by the nanosecond - we judge our jobs, mates, friends, financial situation, political maelstrom, our neighbors, their dogs and even lament the fact that we don't have enough closet space! It is built into our nature and accepted as status quo within out culture - if we don't criticize it how can we make it better? Again, there's an example of how we live in "opposite world" - you can't get to the solution of a situation from the level of the problem. Remember Einstein's quote? Complaining is even at times considered a personal social grace in our society. We denigrate ourselves lest we come off as arrogant or egotistical.

We must become aware of the underlying hum of dissatisfaction that consistently runs through our lives and surfaces as complaints. Usually, it comes out against another because 'they're always doing it wrong.' Or for the more "spiritually evolved" amongst us, we take full responsibility for creating our lives and turn the fire hose of self-criticism all over ourselves. We've learned to get used to it feeling dissatisfied - we consider it normal - but we must bring it to the forefront of our awareness. Once we become aware of something, we can no longer tolerate it in the same way. Awareness is the first level of healing. Once we become aware of how much room it occupies in our thoughts and consciousness it can never be the same. It has to change one way or the other. When we become aware of the underlying thought patterns that are steering our lives in directions we don't want to go, two things happen. We can no longer perceive ourselves as victims of circumstances, which empowers us to create our lives purposefully; and second, we become aware of our MO and how we operate - it can no longer unconsciously run the show. You can then look in the mirror and say "Ha! I'm on to you!"

I would encourage you this week to focus on how much is going right in your life. Make a list - post it somewhere and read it often. Add to it. There is so much good that happens naturally without our effort from the way the planet runs to the way our bodies work. My heart, circulatory, respiratory, digestive systems all do remarkable and amazing things to create a healthy body. The sun comes up every day and the tides go in and out on our behalf. So much works naturally for our good. If you're reading this and thinking, 'yeah, this is like when my mom used to tell me to finish my dinner because children in Africa are starving.' Just acknowledge that part of your brain, and then give it the day off. Its function is no longer vital to our survival. Martha Beck, author, lecturer and life coach, calls it our "inner lizard." It's that part of the deepest layer of our neural structure that evolved in early vertebrates, like reptiles, that is responsible for survival. It broadcasts the most basic of our survival fears: lack and attack. 'I don't have enough and I am going to die if I don't attack first.' Since we are not threatened on a daily basis by animals that might eat us, we don't need that part of our brain to such a severe extent anymore. It's still there, however, but it is more subtle. It has evolved to become that critical voice that grinds at us telling us we are never good enough. It compares us to everything and everybody and it always leaves us feeling worse. Whether we come out looking better or worse than the person, thing or circumstance we are comparing ourselves to, the result is always separation; separation from others, and separation from our truth. As a teacher of mine used to say, "Compare and despair."

So many of us live with an underlying feeling of anxiety and we can't really put our finger on what's wrong. We just know that we're not happy. I would postulate that it is the thought system of dissatisfaction that we've been taught since birth - a thought system that our society also supports and nourishes. Let's become aware of the subtle and not so subtle ways we criticize ourselves and other people. Let's not give it the space in our lives to create the malaise and unhappiness that we've learned to accept as normal. We deserve more. We deserve to be happy.

This week I would encourage you to become more "onto yourself" and catch yourself when your thoughts run amok in obvious and even in subtle, cunning ways. Remember, that critical voice, that tendency to bitch and complain, is insidious. Let's make our knee-jerk response to the question, "How are you?" be "Never better!" - And then let's mean it because it is true. You'll be amazed at how things and circumstances around you will change. I believe the effects of changing our complaining minds are wide in scope. You will be happy to see how so little effort can make such a big difference in our overall well being. Let's be willing to see things differently today. Add grace and appreciation to the recipe and let yourself be delighted by the outcome.

This week I leave you with a quote from Abraham Lincoln who said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

You Gotta Give a Little

2009-09-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the power of contribution and how much it does to foster goodwill, and what an enormous gift it is to our own personal happiness. It was Gretta Brooker Palmer who said, "Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy." Mark Twain remarked that, "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." And of course there is the famous biblical adage that admonishes us to, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." And yet, in a world focused on how much we can get, it is not the first item that tops our list of 25 things to do to get ahead. Ironically, it's the one thing that brings the most joy, satisfaction and happiness.

Many of us today live under such a heavy financial burden that the last thing on our minds is giving. Survival and fear seem to be more the order of the day. Yet because our economic calamity has been brought upon us, in a very large part by greed, the very antidote that is called for is a spirit of giving - financially, emotionally, spiritually.

We have to remember, lest we perceive ourselves as victims of any circumstance, that everything we have done, thought and acted upon has contributed to the world as it is today. Our physicists and scientists from Einstein to Hawking, Newton to Braden have all contributed to the continued revelation of a subatomic culture that responds and literally rearranges itself according to our thoughts. They are learning more and more about how we interconnect with a field of energy, a superhighway or underpinning of our universe. Some scientists have called it the Mind of God and the Divine Matrix, by whatever name you call it, I think we can all agree that it is a creative framework for creation. It becomes easier to see how we are all connected; how every thought, word and deed of each individual contributes to our world - good and bad. All our thoughts of selfishness and greed have contributed to an unstable economy. While it's easy to look at the economy and point to one thing or another as obvious blame, we all have to take responsibility for how we contribute to the pot. Once we take responsibility and understand how we are creating circumstances, we are then powerful where we stand to affect change.

This is where giving, service, contribution and generosity play such an important role. There are so many stories of people helping one another in this economy that even our "serious" media outlets - if it bleeds it leads - are featuring good news stories. They are heartwarming, inspiring and encouraging. Nothing feels better than making a difference in someone's life. Oprah Winfrey herself claims that nothing has made her happier than her philanthropic outreach, especially her school for girls in Africa. Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea, risks life and limb in Afghanistan and Pakistan to forge his tireless effort to champion education, especially for girls. He has gained the trust of Islamic leaders, military commanders, government officials and tribal chiefs simply because of his generous acts of kindness. He has done more for detente in that region than the billions of dollars we spend on war.

Nothing feels better than contributing positively to another person's life. If it is true that we live in a vibrational, responsive universe then every loving thought, kind word, smile and attempt to make someone laugh is an investment. No good act is ever wasted. It contributes to our momentary happiness and to the whole web of creation. It stands to reason that if bad feelings contribute to greed and war, good feelings contribute to peace, harmony and happiness. My mother used to tell me it was better to give than to receive, which was an awfully bitter pill at 6 years old to swallow. Now that I'm a tad older, I know that it is impossible to do one without inciting the other. As a teacher of mine used to say, "You can't out-give God." I believe the ripple effect of generosity and kindness has such far reaching effects that it would blow our minds.

This week I would encourage you to practice the balance of giving and receiving in your life - they are two sides of the same coin. As my friend Jacob says, "You can't just exhale." If you find yourself in a bad mood, take the advice of our wise friend Mark Twain and smile at someone, extend a kind word or compliment, make any small gesture of kindness. You will be amazed at how it will instantly change your mood. If you have more financially, give. If you don't, open yourself up to receive and give in other areas that you are abundant in. Check out my Joyous Contribution area on this blog and act on one that inspires you. Muhammed Yunus, founder of the Grameen Bank in Bangladesh won the Nobel Peace prize for his contribution to eradicate poverty and the inception of micro finance. And it all started with a kind act - he gave a woman a quarter one day to help her start a business. There is enormous potential in each generous act that we initiate. Let's open our hearts, extend our hands and unleash our power. We face an unparalleled moment of possibility.

This week I leave you with an inspiring video - a story of contribution. I also leave you with a quote by Arthur Ashe who said, “From what we get in life we make a living, from what we give we make a life.”

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A New Attitude

2009-09-07T22:28:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we affect our own happiness and well-being, health and prosperity. We've talked at length about how happiness is an inside job and how we hold the power, in the moment, to change everything. But how does that translate into the real world? - What does that mean to us on a daily basis?

I think a lot of it has to do with attending to our internal well being. In this society, we constantly seek to change external circumstances in order to create the life we want without addressing our internal minds. That's a lot of work. It makes me think of my sister-in-law's father - a funny, warm and brilliant man, who would always make us all laugh. An avid lover of puzzles of all kinds, he would be working on a jigsaw puzzle and if a piece didn't fit he would take off his shoe and pound it into place. He didn't care if there was a fish in the sky, he made the piece fit! While being funny, I couldn't help but think that he was driving home a point. It's the way many of us approach problem areas in our lives - we try to force them to work from the outside - which of course in the end never does. We want something so badly we are willing to "make" it happen with our sheer will, frequently fighting against spiritual, emotional, and in the case of the puzzle piece, physical laws. It's exhausting.

I believe that the alignment of our internal selves, our minds and our thoughts coupled with feelings, is the only thing that will create the life that we seek. We tend to value the outside world much more than the inside - we call it reality. In fact, one is not any more real than the other, quite the opposite, one creates the other. I was taught, in my early spiritual training, that the universe constantly conspires for our good. I loved believing in a conspiracy for my good, but we can't take ourselves out of the equation. We must set our internal world, our minds and hearts in accordance with this conspiracy theory. Ernest Holmes, founder of Religious Science calls it a "mental equivalent." He said, "The limit of our ability to demonstrate depends upon our ability to provide a mental equivalent of our desires, for the law of correspondence works from the belief to the thing. But it is within our power to provide a greater mental equivalent through the unfolding of consciousness; and this growth from within will finally lead to freedom."

Rollin McCraty, Ph.D, Vice President and Director of research for the Institute of HeartMath, tells us that, "The heart generates, by far, the largest rhythmic electromagnetic signal in the body. If you look at this magnetic field as a carrier wave, it's being modulated with information." It is this information that is communicating our beliefs, expectations and desires. If we align our internal perception with love instead of fear, something shifts in our minds and we begin to see things differently. A new perspective is born and the insights we bring to a problem will change. It helps us to see possibility where perhaps none had existed before. It brings a clarity and a different objectivity to the table because we are fundamentally different. In Buddhism, it is called a high life condition.

Since all minds are joined, by the energetic field that we have spoken of before, when our life condition is high we don't even have to necessarily do anything - the phone will ring, an email will come, a solution appears. If action is necessary, it will be inspired and not forced by fear. Here again is where the beauty of the moment can powerfully intervene. At any moment, we can stop and create a life condition that will affect a situation positively, instead of trying to "power" through it. Stop. Relax. Breathe. Bring a state of well being to the equation - gratitude, forgiveness, appreciation, a revised story - they will be more likely deliver the results you desire.

We must stop the internal chatter that replays stories from our past that do not serve us. Katie Byron, creator of The Work, is brilliant at teaching us to let go of our stories. We hold on to stories that bring pain and we create evidence to prove those stories true and draw circumstances into our lives that we do not want. We say things like, 'I never get what I want in my life because (fill in the blank here) my mother was abusive, my father was an alcoholic, I was ignored, I had too little, I had too much...' Whatever your story might be, I encourage you to drop it. Instead of arguing for our limitations, let's begin to argue for possibilities. As my friend Jacob says in his 365 Miracles, The Miracle Workers' Handbook, "We are not trying to get rid of something or push against it. We are suggesting that you invoke something Greater." He goes on to talk about invoking positive denial."Positive denial is looking right at the situation and negating the frightening story you've told about it. Positive denial neutralizes the fear by stripping it of its power over you. Always follow up positive denial with affirming a deeper truth."

This week I would encourage you to rewrite any story that you continue to tell others about yourself (a good clue to your inside beliefs) in order to end their cycle of attracting unwanted circumstances. All it takes is your willingness to change; you will receive help when you become willing. Begin your day by aligning your internal self to your higher self. In your quiet moments reflect on gratitude and appreciation and then really feel it. By backing your thoughts with emotions you will create a positively charged, powerfully attractive state - a high life condition. If there is a situation that is causing you worry or fear, give thanks for all the help you are receiving for its resolution. See it as resolved and without having to know the details of the resolution, feel the relief. Feel the relief. Feel the relief. Answers abound if we move away from the thoughts that created them. Albert Einstein said it the best when he said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." It requires a new perspective. A true miracle occurs when we shift our perceptions from fear (greed, jealousy, hostility, hatred, etc.) to love (gratitude, appreciation, honesty, integrity, generosity, etc.). When that perceptual shift is made, we attain inner peace and well being; and that will change our outer circumstances without the need of a shoe.

Again, I'd like to reiterate that this is not hard to do, it is just different. It is a shift in consciousness, which is the most important thing we can do to create peace, happiness and joy in our lives and usher in a new paradigm. Here lies the hope and change that we can really believe in.

I leave you this week with a quote by Maya Angelou who said, "We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate - thereby making the present comfortable and the future promising."

Science and Sages

2009-08-31T22:51:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about forgiveness. No matter which religion you were raised in there's a good chance that forgiveness was figured prominently. We also run across it countless times in quotes from famous thinkers and our literature is strewn with themes of forgiveness. It makes you wonder...what really gives?

Once again, we find science and spirituality coming together in a powerful and profound way to teach us that by changing our own lives we impact the world in which we live. Author and lecturer, Marianne Williamson calls it the evolution of the consciousness of the species by way of the evolution and maturity of our own thinking. Quantum physics tells us that on a subatomic level atoms and particles constantly communicate through a field of energy. We constantly affect that field by our thoughts, which more importantly affect our emotions, which send a waive of chemicals into our bodies and beyond. Quantum physics, the study of subatomic elements, builds upon Newtonian physics by teaching us that there is so much more that happens when that apple falls from that tree. Spirituality chimes in to remind us that we are all one, that we don't stop at our skin. We're all made from the same stuff, that essence of life from which we came - call it God, or love or the universe - it is creative, responsive and ubiquitous. A Course In Miracles tells us that, "Ideas never leave their source." We constantly create our lives through our thoughts, feelings and beliefs.

Great, but what does it all mean? It makes me think about author Malachy McCourt, who said, "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." When we hold anger and resentment in our hearts, we not only hurt ourselves, we impact our environment and how it responds back to us. We might feel good in the short run by letting off steam and bitching about another person; we might even feel justified in our complaints (it's that right vs. happy thing) but we are never served by it. In the long run it is more devastating to our lives than we even know - as those quantum physicists are learning. Of course, our spiritual masters have known these truths all along. They just didn't need scientists to corroborate it for them. They got their information from a higher, more trusted source. But now our minds are getting the evidence that we so often seek beyond faith.

I had the opportunity this week to bring two old friends together again. They had left each other, years ago, on bad terms. When we sat down together, it became instantly clear that one person didn't even remember the circumstances that the other person had held as a source of their pain for so long. When all was said and done, it was evident that all that was left, the most important thing, was the love that still remained between them. Think of how many years of pain could have been avoided. While we are holding on to that grudge, the other person has forgotten the whole episode. They've moved on in their lives, but we haven't. We've drunk the poison with no ill effect on the other person and we stand holding the heavy burden. And when we hold on to that pain, our thoughts about it create feelings, which produce chemicals that adversely affect our physical bodies. Take that one step further - thanks to our wise philosophers, spiritual teachers and quantum physicists - and now we know that those chemicals impact particles that change our world and quality of life. We cause illness in our bodies when we hold on to pain, anger and resentment. Those emotions incite stress hormones and other deleterious chemicals and those chemicals don't stop at our skin. They begin a ripple effect in our world that bring more pain and upset. In an ever expanding circle of interconnectedness, we even contribute to that pool of hatred and war. That's a lot to sacrifice for not forgiving someone.

On the upside, we are always at choice and can, at any given moment, change everything. Let's be inspired by the example of Immacule Ilabegeza who forgave the brutal murder of her family in the Rwandan genocide. We're always at choice. And remember, forgiveness does not invalidate your pain. You are not condoning what they did to you. This is not about them. This is about you. You are setting yourself free. As A Course In Miracles says, "We are spiritually generous out of self interest." It is our world and our lives we are seeking to change for the better, and yet we can't help but do it for another since science and sages tell us that we are all connected. As the Talmud so brilliantly states it, “A light for one is light for a hundred.”

If we are really taking full responsibility for everything that happens in our lives, good and bad, then we understand that people and situations are brought to us by our own making in order to learn something. Usually the lesson involves learning how to have more compassion and more love; not only for the person that hurt us but for ourselves, as well. Forgiveness then becomes another mental habit in our arsenal for happiness. It is not difficult, it is just different. This world teaches us to blame the cause for our unhappiness on someone else - on something outside of ourselves. But we're learning a new way of being that gives us all the power in the world to create happy, peaceful lives.

I would encourage you this week to bring to mind people who have hurt you; people who you have not yet forgiven. Those who you might quickly push out of your mind as quickly as you think of them because it is too painful. Begin to make peace with them in your mind. Write a list of their positive aspects so that you can remember a better side of them. Begin to forgive them and forgive yourself for your own complicity. Then pray, in whichever way you choose, for their highest good and happiness. You don't have to do anything more than that for miracles to occur. You don't have to call, write or see them unless you want to. Chances are, like my friend, they might not even remember the incident. Besides, that divine field will elegantly carry your message. Remember, this exercise of forgiveness is for you. It will ease your burden and set you free. By virtue of that, your world will change. You will get proof in ways that you can't even imagine - that quantum field and spiritual truth will delight you in subtle ways. Keep an eye out for them. I commend you. This is not an easy exercise, but it is one of the most important contributions that we can make for inner peace, which will in turn beautifully contribute to the world's peace.

I leave you this week with some wise words from Marianne Williamson when she was expounding on a lesson from A Course In Miracles that states 'Forgiveness Offers Everything I Want.' "When I say forgiveness offers you everything you want, I meant everything, because forgiveness means you will then return to your most loving self. Your most loving self is your Christ self, your Buddha self, your true self...When you are that, when you become that, then you will attract to yourself everything that reflects that. Give love, get love. Simple as that."

Inside Out

2009-08-25T19:52:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about happiness, which is a good thing since I’m blogging on the subject. We all know that happiness is an inside job. Real happiness has nothing to do with external circumstances. We know that on some level, but we forget so quickly. We still run around trying to choreograph (which is a kinder word for control) every aspect of our lives in order to conform to our pictures of what we think will constitute happiness. Our relationships must look a certain way, our careers, our homes, communities, our 2.5 children. We try to get all these ducks in a row so that we can then settle down, relax and be happy. But that never works. It hurls us into that illusive future that never comes; it postpones our good. We find ourselves waiting until it’s just so, or until we’ve earned it. It is an endless chore that leaves us frustrated, tired and multi-tasking to that point where we wish we had never heard that word. When we rely on external circumstances to make us happy and bring us the joy that we seek, we lose one hundred percent of the time. I’m here to encourage you to relax. Stop the incessant drive toward futility and choose to focus on the happiness that already exists within. As best selling author and cofounder of the Omega Institute, Elizabeth Lesser so soothingly puts it, “There is no one to impress, nothing to get, nowhere to rush to, nothing to miss out on. The truth is always there, plain and simple, hiding somewhere near you.”

The truth is that the happiness we seek is already within us. It then becomes a deliberate choice of how we will proceed. I think we often fear that if we go within we will have to forfeit the “stuff” that we want. I have two things to say about that. First of all, “stuff” is highly overrated. Take a look at the brilliant perspective by Annie Leonard who produced The Story of Stuff. Secondly, when we act from the inside out, prompted and directed by our intuition and divine guidance we attract our hearts desire in a way we could have never dreamed. A Course In Miracles puts it so well when it says, “Fear of the Will of God is one of the strangest beliefs the human mind has ever made.” By whatever words you name it – God, The Universe, your Buddha nature, Allah, Christ consciousness, your higher self, love or that quantum force that connects us all – I think we agree that we are all part of a divine essence. It connects us all and it responds to our conscious thoughts. Why would we fear it? Perhaps this strong yearning for happiness is the very impetus we need to go within and discover the truth of who we are. It is only then that we are truly happy.

As a society, we have learned to go for happiness from the outside. It’s the way we were taught. There is a recipe for success and if we follow it we will be happy, right? Not so much. I know a lot of people who are wildly successful and rich with all the trappings that define happiness to a tee and they are the furthest thing from it. They are left with a void and a strong case of, “is that all there is?” The high of the new last thing has worn off and it leaves them wanting for more. That line that we thought would surely signify happiness when we crossed it begins to move every time we approach it. This was the role model for happiness that we were given. Unfortunately, it has built a world of insatiable greed and avarice. Fortunately, we are at choice and we are beginning to change things from a place of stability and power – from the inside where all creation exists. We stand poised on an exciting stage of possibility.

Dr. Robert Holden, psychologist and founder of the Happiness Project in England, tells us that, “Those looking for happiness often don't realize they already have it…you don't chase happiness out there. You learn that you're happy inside you…. Then you go into the world.” One of his big prescriptions for happiness is to be present, live in the moment. He says, “Living in the ‘not now’ is a chief cause of unhappiness. The strain of being not present in your own life is simply too great. When you miss out on the present, you miss out on so much. No now; no life. In the English language, the word ‘present’ has three distinct meanings: ‘here’, ‘now’ and ‘a gift.’"

It’s not as hard as we think to change our external quest for happiness to an internal one. It’s a simple shift of consciousness and it takes practice. The more we practice, the more it will become natural. The more natural it becomes the happier we are inclined to be. This begins to shift in the way our world responds back to us. The mirror changes so the reflection has to as well. Buddhism has a beautiful concept know as esho-funi, oneness of life and its environment. The two are not separate but one. When one changes the other has no choice, they are two integral phases of a single reality. Discover your happiness within and it will be reflected without. Your life will change and you will find the happiness that you desire without all the stuff.

This week I would encourage, as always, to be mindful of your thoughts. Change your mind about those things that make you feel bad. For the most part, it’s just a story that we keep telling ourselves. This week let’s mine our inner storehouse for happiness. Make a list of 25 things, people, places or activities that make you happy. Maybe it’s something that you haven’t done or thought of in a long time. Then go do that. Tap into that place inside you where there is a wellspring of joy. You may find that it will bring a new relationship, home or career direction. There are countless numbers of people who have stumbled upon a new career path by virtue of doing something that made them happy in the moment. Greg Mortensen comes to mind. A man who has established over 90 schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan as a result of climbing the second-highest mountain on Earth, K2, to honor his sister’s memory. I think of the prominent attorney whose casual, polite greeting of a homeless man in the park turned into an idea of Book Club for the Homeless – the idea is now catching on globally. One man with a kind gesture – nothing makes him happier – take a good look at his face as you watch this video I leave you with this week. I leave you also with a quote by Henry Miller who said, "If we have not found heaven within, it is a certainty we will not find it without."

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Suze Speaks

2009-08-19T07:14:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about something Suze Orman said on Oprah. The woman, deemed a “one-woman financial advice powerhouse” by USA Today, for the most part scares the living crap out of me. I fall short on so many levels according to her financial rules. But even some of her best laid plans and strategies for people have buckled under the strain of this economy and she has found it necessary go deeper in her counsel. Remember, she mostly deals with the symptoms of our lives and not with the causes; and yet it’s the causes, the thoughts and the beliefs that speak the loudest and dictate the most. It was to them she spoke when she said, “We must be grateful for what we have, not for what we had.” Brilliant. Simple.

Suze was talking about mourning less over the loss of “stuff” and being more grateful for what we still have. She was advising a minister and his wife, who had lost their life savings, to concentrate on the positive aspects of their lives. She was trying to shift their focus. But like most of us the “yeah but” came into play so quickly, with all of its reasons and justifications, that it pushed her wise counsel right out the window. ‘You make a good point, Suze, but what about my 401k, my retirement, my future? How am I supposed to be happy when I have lost so much?’ When we win in the argument of “yeah buts,” we have all but lost the possibility for providence to move in to create the miracle that was supposed to be born out of the situation. We have just argued for our limitations. We might have been right and justified in our anger but we are certainly not happy.

Suze sure said a mouthful in that succinct admonition. Our lives are hijacked when we mourn our past – whether it be for material things or physical things – thinner, firmer, younger. We become so mired in the thoughts of the past that we miss the happiness that is ours in the moment and surrender the power to change it. As A Course In Miracles so aptly puts it, “You do not ask too much of life, but far too little. When you let your mind be drawn to bodily concerns, to things you buy, to eminence as valued by the world, you ask for sorrow, not for happiness.”

When our thoughts dwell in the past or leap to an illusive future, we have just sacrificed joy in our present moment. The moment is where our power lies; it is where we live our lives. When we choose joy it not only makes us feel good in the moment, it also sets a precedent for joy in the next moment, which begins a chain reaction for our good.

Suze also emphasized gratitude, which is such an important stance. It moves us out of the realm of feeling sorry for ourselves or of being a victim, which only serves to make us miserable in the short run and attracts more of the same in the long run. That is not the spiral I wish to descend. Gratitude points us in a more positive direction, but I would go one step further than Suze’s recommendation, I would encourage appreciation. Gratitude is a wonderful emotion, but it implies overcoming some difficult situation, a struggle; while appreciation carries a vibrational essence that is not contingent upon conditions. It aligns us with the source within. I will not call it God since that word is charged with so much meaning. I will simply refer back to the field that we talked about last week. The vibration that the ancients, sages, prophets and teachers have known forever. The field which quantum physicists and scientists are just beginning to define. It is that intelligent field, that “Divine Matrix,” that connects us all. It is responsive to our thoughts and our feelings and it is instrumental in creation. When you are joyful, happy and full of appreciation, you align yourself with a Force that holds galaxies in place.

I would encourage you this week to let go of the past as best you can by focusing on all the beauty that still exists in your life. If you are sad, cry. If you are angry, go beat a pillow senseless until you can release the pain that the anger is masking and then have a good cry. Do anything you need to do to let it go. Do not dwell on the pain. Let go of the story of your past so you can begin to write a new one that will make you happy, that will bring you your hearts desire. Write a gratitude list born out of the situation, and then write an appreciation list about yourself and your life. Assume the best this very moment so that you can give birth to possibilities. As my friend Jacob would say, “lots can happen.”

I leave you this week with a quote by Henry David Thoreau who said, “You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in every moment.”

The Blame Game

2009-08-12T07:14:00.001-07:00

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the extent to which we take responsibility for our lives. We seem to do a lot of blaming, which only serves to exacerbate feelings of powerlessness. There’s certainly a lot of blaming, criticizing and complaining going around today, especially in light of the economic climate. Nothing is more debilitating; and nothing makes us feel worse. Remember we talked about the four emotional cancers: comparing, competing, criticizing and complaining? Nothing tears down our resolve to create a happy, successful life more. It also gnaws at the very fabric of our culture. As learned scholar, peace proponent and Buddhist leader, Daisaku Ikeda states, “The power to change even the environment exists in the heart.”

It has become clear that forging peace and happiness in this world is an inside job. It starts with us, one person at a time, and then it spreads from there – talk about viral marketing!

When I was studying to be a practitioner in the Church of Religious Science, I had a teacher who used to say, “There is one common denominator in all the bad things that happen in your life…you!” We create our lives with our thoughts, words and feelings – essentially with the energy or vibration we are emanating. Those may sound like “woo-woo” concepts in this age of metaphysics but they are actually facts that are being proven every day by some of our greatest scientific minds.

We all know that we are comprised of energy and matter. Now scientists have proven that there is a field, an energy, force or framework that is the underpinning of our universe, but what does it mean to us? Dr. John Wheeler, prominent physicist and colleague of Albert Einstein, the man who coined the term “black hole;” also acknowledged this field and studied its impact on people. Stephen Hawking, theoretical physicist, called this force, “the Mind of God.” He borrowed the term from Albert Einstein who began studying physics because he wanted to understand this phenomenon. Gregg Braden, scientist and author tells us that the power of our belief literally rearranges the stuff, the atoms and the molecules that our world is made of, to create the conditions of our lives – our romances, abundance, peace and even the healing of our bodies. He found that this intelligent field, The Divine Matrix as he has coined it, is not only responsive to us but it connects us all. It is clear that scientists and quantum physicists are beginning to corroborate and find evidence of the truth that the ancient traditions, mystics and spiritual masters have known for eons. It’s just taken science a little longer to catch-up. However, many scientists, including the ones we talked about here, have been driven to address big, overarching questions in physics; subjects which merged with philosophical questions about the origin of matter, information and the universe. It is becoming more clear that we are part of a vast interconnected highway of creation and we are free to use it as we choose.

It is up to us to direct our energy. Dr. Christiane Northrup tells us that we have one of the greatest chemistry sets in the world between our ears. Our brains are capable of making every chemical that our bodies need to grow, combat disease and thrive and it’s our thoughts that steer it. The question remains that if we have the ability to rearrange matter why would we want to impact it negatively for a less than a desired outcome? Of course we don’t do it on purpose yet that’s what happens every time we blame others for circumstances in our lives. Our power lies in the awareness that we are creative beings by virtue of our thoughts, which impact our own atoms and molecules, which in turn affects this quantum essence of life.

I encourage you this week take a stance of responsibility for every circumstance in your life, good and bad. Let’s avoid blaming, criticizing or complaining about anyone else. If someone flips you off in traffic, consider where you might be holding anger or rage for another; if someone hurts your feelings or is talking about you unkindly, look to see where you might be doing the same thing. Once we begin to see things differently and understand that we are first cause, we incite the power to create the lives we want. It’s time to start cleaning up our thoughts, our feelings, our actions and reactions and then watch the changes that occur. They will seem nothing short of miraculous.

I leave you this week with a quote by William James who says, “The greatest revolution in our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”

Limitations or Possibilities?

2009-08-04T18:00:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking lately about something Ernest Holmes said. One of the most influential figures in metaphysical science and founder of Religious Science (not to be confused with Scientology), Ernest Holmes was a profound proponent of Universal Intelligence and said something that has stuck with me lately. He said,

“You cannot spend five minutes in the morning affirming that all is well and spend the rest of the day proving that it is not.“

Our minds have such a unique way of wanting to prove our beliefs right no matter what – even though it might not make us happy. A Course in Miracles puts it so succinctly when it asks,

“Would you rather be right or happy?”

Many might think, “can’t I be both?” Not if it brings situations into your life that make you unhappy. We must stop arguing for our limitations in order to attract the happiness and fulfillment that we so desperately crave.

Our beliefs – and remember they are just thoughts that we keep thinking – will be proven in our physical world by the circumstances that they attract, wanted or unwanted. My mother used to say to me, “You’re so lucky; jobs just fall into your lap.” Not only did that piss me off - I felt like I worked hard for everything that came my way and somehow she was negating my effort - but it also set into motion circumstances that began to prove my limited thoughts. In truth I did have an uncanny way of attracting opportunity, but I was so addicted to struggle that I could not accept the ease with which I could create. I thought it had to be harder than that. I began to argue for my limitations. I began to make life harder than it had to be. I was proving my position right because jobs that came easily before stopped cold, and I was anything but happy.

Again, the world in which we live supports hard work, struggle, pain and fear and we just buy into those beliefs as truth. Our addiction to pain and struggle makes us believe that it is necessary to suffer and work hard in order to succeed, “no pain, no gain,” and the belief in "The Great American Dream" and sweat equity. But the paradigm is shifting. Even the lexicon is changing. Think about how prevalent words like universe, spirituality, affirmations, karma, etc. are in our society today. This was not true even a decade ago.

Let’s stop arguing for our limitations. Let’s adopt the new beliefs that are conspiring to change the world. Begin today to pay attention to your thoughts, and to certain words that you use with regularity that might be attracting things that you do not want. Set your course in the morning by setting aside some time, before your busy day begins, to settle your mind – pray, meditate, chant – do whatever you do to put appreciation, happiness and love at the top of your list for the day. But then, as Ernest Holmes reminds us, don’t let it stop there. Don’t let your thoughts run amok in directions that don’t serve you. Ask to become more aware of those thoughts. They will begin to jump out at you like crazy by virtue of your attention to them. Remember, it’s not hard. It is a matter of awareness. We are waking up to the notion that the facts that we so strongly believe in, might not be facts at all.

This week take a few minutes in the morning to set the course for your day; then, throughout the day, focus on happier things, brighter moments, appreciation and all the beauty that surrounds you. Your limiting thoughts will come up, but as you notice them they will not hold the power that they used to. With practice it will become easier. It will become more natural. I can’t think of a better way to learn than by marinating ourselves in positive, life affirming happy thoughts and circumstances - they abound.

I leave you this week with another video, a good news story of a woman who never let a limiting thought stop her determination; she argued for possibilities and possibilities came. Oh yes, and I will leave you with a wonderful quote (I cannot resist) from Louise Hay who says,

“What you think and what you believe is what will come true for you. Your thoughts create your life; it’s that simple, and when we get that, we can make enormous changes.”

Our Brains on Joy

2009-07-27T23:17:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking lately about mind training and the notion of brain washing our minds for positive and happy changes in our lives. The thought of brain washing has had a bad rap in our culture but the truth of the matter is that our thinking is constantly being manipulated through advertising, films, television and the news. We get it whether we want it or not. Unfortunately, it is mostly negative input, which often leaves us feeling tired, depressed or unhappy and then we wonder why our lives are not better. Let’s face it; our world is skewed toward negativity. We take it in as a matter of fact because it is disguised as relevant, important and sensationalistic. Let’s begin to feed our brains a better diet to see what happens to our physical world.

I was challenged this week with an old, habitual thought pattern (and who knows where it came from). A circumstance arose that elicited a dormant thought stream of fear and paralysis. I became determined not to let it dictate the patterns of my life. I wasn’t interested in its origin; I just wanted to change it. Going back to the source to figure out where thoughts began can frequently make matters worse causing a downward spiral of cause and effect. Another teacher of mine, Terry Cole Whitaker, used to say – and I paraphrase here – “Once I throw out my trash, I’m not inclined to go through it again.” Lecturer and author on “A Course In Miracles,” Jacob Glass, drives home the point by using an example of a car's GPS system. He explains that if your GPS goes offline for some reason and you become lost, when it comes back online the first thing it wants to do is help you find your destination. It does not say, “How in the world did you get here? This must be your mother’s fault.” Years of analysis may not always be the answer. As Byron Katie says, “I’m a woman in a hurry.” Let’s be in a hurry for good to come our way and make a conscious effort to judiciously select thoughts that we take on as fact, and question the ones that are habitual but not true. It requires vigilance. And like any habit, the more you practice the easier and more ingrained it becomes.

I would encourage you this week not to focus and replay thoughts that make you feel bad. These thoughts will not create the future that you want. Remember, we have 60,000 thoughts per day; 87% of those thoughts are negative and repetitive. 99% of all those negative thoughts are a gross misrepresentation of reality; they are simply not true and they are unreliable. Why would we want to continue to think or believe them? Talk about a happiness downer. As author, Anne Lamott warns, “My mind is a bad neighborhood and I shouldn’t go there alone.”

I would encourage you to simply begin to focus on the positive aspects of your life. Let’s leave the morbid statistics, warnings and fear to the advertisers trying to sell us something. If you look for more beauty you will begin to notice it everywhere. Let’s make an effort to stay away from the four emotional cancers: comparing, competing, criticizing and complaining. Continue to appreciate and write lists of things that are going right in your life; compliment yourself and others more often. Seek out activities that make you feel good – funny movies, intimate moments with friends and family and materials that inspire you (books, articles, blogs, YouTube videos, etc.). Remember, this is your life. It’s time to begin ignoring negativity and disturbing, repetitive thoughts and leave them behind for the lies that they are. Let’s begin a new regime of happiness and let’s do it with confidence.

Here are some new suds for your brain:

1. Happiness is vital. It isn’t some airy-fairy, vapid stance that we assume just to be nice. It is a choice – a powerful choice that changes everything. It provides essential hormones and chemicals for health, youth and vitality; it is contagious on every level: spiritually, emotionally and cellularly; it changes the way we begin to think about ourselves. As a result, things begin to shift because the circumstance we attract are vastly different. Money may not bring happiness, but happiness may bring money – think about that one for minute.

2. Thought creates. When we change our thoughts, which are the first act of creation, we change our lives. Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, writes, “Thoughts have the peculiar quality of becoming their physical equivalence.”

3. Thoughts are attractive – they invite similar vibratory thoughts. The more depressed or morbid our thoughts, the worse we feel. Conversely, the better our thoughts, the better thoughts we attract and the better we feel, which causes a cascade of universal, chemical and relational support for better circumstances in our lives. It is an upward spiral.

4. Habits are just thoughts we keep on thinking. They are not set in stone and they can change with heightened consciousness, awareness and vigilance. Remember what my teacher, Dr. Vetura Papke used to say, “Put a gatekeeper up at the portal of your mind.”

Let’s begin the process of positive brain washing by exposing our brains to more joy, appreciation and happiness; then we will begin a powerful transformation of our lives.

I leave you this week with a prayer, by Macrina Wiederkehr, author of Seasons of Your Heart: Prayers and Reflections. “Oh God, Help me to believe the truth about myself no matter how beautiful it is.”

Vacation Time

2009-07-20T08:49:00.001-07:00

I’ve been thinking lately about appreciation and what an incredibly powerful tool we have at our disposal. Frequently, however, we set it apart from our daily lives and compartmentalize in with kind acts, good deeds and churchy things when, in fact, it’s one of the most potent acts in our arsenal for happiness.

If you’re facing a challenge in your life right now I would encourage you to drop all your strategizing and planning and adopt a stance of appreciation. We seem to think that the only way to achieve a goal or solve a problem is to be proactive and assertive, get out there, “brain storm” and get the job done. I can’t think of anything more unsettling than a storm in my brain. That kind of “strategery,” as our previous President so aptly put it, has the effect of that proverbial bull in a china shop. It often makes things worse. We don’t immediately think of appreciation as a jumping off point in solving problems in our lives, but it is. Appreciation is not passive. Again, in our backwards world, we put the cart before the horse, set our minds on overload and try to manipulate our way out a dilemma – doesn’t that make for an exhausting day! I have a friend who says, “you cannot think your way out of situation that you’ve acted your way into.” We must engage our hearts and the wisdom of our infinite higher selves to create anew. One of the best ways I know how to do that is through appreciation.

This week I was consoling a friend who suffered a loss – of material things – and I was trying to get him to focus on all the other amazing things he has in life and he has many. He said to me, “I know I should be more appreciative, but…” As if to say, “I know I should floss, but…” It’s that qualifying “but” that keeps us in a state of suffering and just ruins our ability to recreate any situation.

I would encourage you this week to make an appreciation list. I know I’ve said it before but let’s ramp it up – write down the things you appreciate in your life; qualities that you appreciate in the people you know and love and in the people with whom you might be having trouble. This is one of the most powerful things you can do to transform a relationship. Even if there is only one tiny thing you can find to appreciate about a person, write it down and ride it for all its worth this week. You will begin to notice a change. Write down things that you appreciate about a situation that you might be going through – especially those that seem troubling or problematic – mine it for its value. You’ve heard it said that we only have control of how we “react” in any given moment, but I would postulate that if we appreciate and change our minds about a situation, the reaction phase of counting to 10 before we pull out all of our hair, will never come. It’s a new way of thinking and again, we’re here to retrain and transform our minds. Make a list, add to it every day and read it every evening.

It’s summer! Give your brain a vacation from all its strategy and “best” thinking and let your heart and intuitive higher self sweetly and powerfully engage in appreciation. Rest in the knowledge that all is well and getting better.

I leave you this week with a quote by Meister Eckhart who said, "If the only prayer you say in your life is thank you, that would be enough.”

Moments

2009-07-13T10:44:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately about the power of the moment. We hear so much about it: "stay in the present; all your power is in the moment; live in the moment; all we have is the now;" and it's all been profoundly punctuated by Eckhart Tolle's guide to spiritual enlightenment - in the oh so popular (thanks Oprah) - The Power of Now. But really, how does that notion parlay into our lives today? What does it really mean for life in the 21st century?

These are exciting times because scientists are now corroborating spiritual theories that great thinkers have been postulating for years. It seems that our minds need proof for what our hearts have known to be true for a very long time - we are spiritual beings having a physical experience. As we said last week, form follows thought. This week we’re exploring how much power we possess in the now. In the moment, we have the power that determines our next moment - it creates our future. Again, it's backwards in the world. We think we have to decide our future, make plans and go from there when actually the reverse is true. We must stay out of the future and power pack our now with as much vitality, happiness and joy that we can; and in doing so we set the blueprint for the next moment and, consequently, our future. We set in motion a chain that not only bodes well for a happier future, but also makes us happy in our present. How much are we postponing our happiness as our lives pass us by?

We frequently live in the past where we tend to judge ourselves right or wrong, or compare ourselves with someone else who has done it way better than we ever could. It has us wondering if we'll ever get it right (compare and despair). That makes our present miserable and sets up the next moment (remember we attract what we focus on) less than desirable. Or, we're in the future of “hope” and “what ifs.” Hope might sound like a positive notion but many times it sets us up for a fall, "why isn't it happening now?" or "I have to work hard, sacrifice, give up things now to get what I want in the future." It never works. That future never comes. It's like waging peace through war - it just doesn't work. We must make a decision to make our present happy and milk it for every bit of life and joy that we can in order to ensure a future of the same. If we deliberately choose joy, we are happy in our moment and we set a precedent for the future.

Scientist Masuru Emoto (The Hidden Messages in Water) tells us that water exposed to positive words, beautiful music and stimuli that is joyful, respond molecularly and create beautiful, healthy, vibrantly formed crystals; while those exposed to negative stimuli create malformed and fragmented water molecules. Pharmacologist Candice Pert, who studied brain biochemistry and discovered endorphins and serotonin receptors, questions the use of brain altering drugs like Prozac and Zoloft. Her research has convinced her that how we think and what we feel generates all the biochemical materials that our brain needs. She says, "We are hard—wired for bliss…our mind, body and spirit are inseparable.” Doctor Christiane Northrup (The Power of Joy) says, ". … If you do not put joy into your agenda deliberately, because it creates these biochemical changes in your brain that are so beneficial, increasing serotonin, decreasing cortisol and stress hormones, making you sleep better, all that. If you don’t do deliberately, what do you do? - You do it by default. You do it through sugar, drugs and alcohol."

As we said last week, we must mind our thoughts. This week I am encouraging you to make a deliberate choice to add joy into your moments. Listen to music that you love, watch movies that make you laugh, find something to compliment in a friend, relative, co-worker. It feels so good to compliment someone. Let's try to suck joy out of every moment. Even if you’re at a job that you don’t particularly like, find something to enjoy. When you are doing chores (to do lists seem endless these days) put on music, dance, make them joyful - this is our lives. Enjoy your children in simple moments. Time passes quickly, and if we're joyful in the moment it will impact us cellularly, biochemically and spiritually causing a happy life for ourselves and others - it is contagious.

I leave you this week not only with a quote, but also with a video that makes me happy every time I watch it. It's a true testament to one man's unmitigated joy and its worldwide contagion. The quote is from Dr. Northrup who said in one of her lectures, "Every thought you think creates a cascade of biochemical changes in your body that are measurable. And every cell in your body communicates instantly with every other cell in your body. And every cell in one of your bodies, believe it or not, communicates instantly with every cell in my body. And I’m thinking the energy shift that we do [tonight] is the best hope for…the war in Iraq, peace on the planet, cleaning up all kinds of pollution…this is the only thing that will change anything."

Reality Begins With A Thought

2009-07-06T19:54:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking lately...this business of deliberately making happiness a primary focus and making sure that our thoughts remain as positive as possible is quite a task and requires practice and persistence. A Course In Miracles calls it a radical mind training. I had a wonderful teacher, an old metaphysician and one of Ernest Holmes' first Practitioners in The Church of Religious Science, Vetura Papke, who would say, "Put a guard up at the portal of your mind." She knew how powerful our thoughts were in creating our reality and how easy it was to let thoughts of negativity become our primary mode of thinking. We live in a world that lends itself to negative thinking, "Nothing is easier than negativity - the entire culture plays into it," so says leading OBGYN, best-seling author and teacher, Christiane Northrup. It's as if we have had an unspoken agreement, a group consicousness, if you will, that lends itself to worry, complaining and the proliferation of bad news. Negative thinkers have been branded as significant and even erudite, while positive thinking people have often been deemed as airy-fairy or kooky. But there is a significant shift taking place, and the change is a direct result of a cumulative change in thinking. It turns out that it's not so kooky afterall.

I started writing this blog because the economy and world culture began shifting so significantly that people started to question what it is that really constitutes happiness. Was it only the security that came with our 401ks? - Or in having it "all?" Not so much, as we watch those things evaporate right out from under us. We are beginning to understand that true happiness comes from the inner landscapes of our own lives and in our connection with each other. This understanding has called for a significant change in our thinking - our most creative and powerful tool in changing our lives and, as hackneyed as it might sound, in changing the world. Consequently, the journey within becomes the most important thing we can do.

So what now? What can we do today, right now? We can train our minds to think on other things and it's not that much different than working out a muscle. It becomes easier with practice. Write a gratitude list every day; write down what went right. I know it sounds simple, but it is profound. It shifts the gears of our thinking away from "what's wrong," "what always goes wrong for me," "my dumb luck," and the worst thing that we do: keeping score of how many things go wrong. We build a case for the pattern to continue. As much as you can this week, begin to be conscious of things that are going right. Try to detach from the "story" of who you think you are (check out Byron Katie under Teachers and Tools for more on that) and begin to redefine yourself by your positive virtues. Write down, right now, three things that you like about yourself. We must begin to see ourselves as the powerful, infinite beings that we are.

Some of today's most important and influential medical researchers and scientists are telling us that the most powerful chemistry set that we have--to combat diseases, chemical imbalances and even genetic patterns--lies between our ears. We have the power to affect signifiant changes in our bodies, our lives and in the amount of joy we gleen from every day...and it all begins with a thought.

I leave you this week with a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, "What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

Think Again

2009-06-29T16:37:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking lately…if I could only have one wish from that proverbial Genie; and if it couldn’t be wishing for more wishes - doesn’t that just blow the three-wish-thing to smithereens? - I would wish for everyone in the world to have that “falling in love” feeling. Think about it. If everyone were to be experiencing the happiness that that feeling engenders it would be virtually impossible to start wars or conflicts with ourselves, our neighbors or any other country. Poof, we would be happy regardless of external circumstances.

So, how do find happiness without that Genie? It begins with the inner landscape of our mind. We must change what we focus on - even though journalistic sensationalism has us glued to stories ranging from Kate & Jon’s separation to 24/7 coverage of Michael Jackson’s death - our minds have been hijacked by the over stimulation of that larger-than-life noise. It has become the backdrop of our lives. Anything less these days seems dull. We must begin a vigorous re-training of our minds back to sanity and truth - this is where our happiness lies and trust me…it is not boring. I know it seems overly simplistic to say ‘think happy thoughts and you will be happy,’ but tossing out the cacophony that distracts us from peace is vital.

We’ve been told that changing our thoughts changes our lives ("Thoughts have the peculiar quality of becoming their physical equivalence,"Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich) and now quantum physicists and string theorists are backing up those claims with scientific proof. As Gregg Braden, best selling author known for bridging science and spirituality, so eloquently puts it, “New discoveries suggest that our world is the mirror of our beliefs. What we once believed is about to change.”

This week, I recommend that you check out Jacob Glass’ Happiness Boot-Camp (the link is under Teachers & Tools). Psychologist, Jonas Chong tells us that out of the 60,000 or so thoughts that we have per day, 87% of them are negative and repetitive - talk about boring! And, if our thoughts create our lives and our beliefs are nothing more than thoughts we keep on thinking, then nothing less than a boot camp is required if we are serious about changing our lives and becoming happy. We must be about the business of re-training our minds. We must begin to think on other things in order to create happiness in our lives, which will then bring us our heart’s desires, not the other way around.

I leave you this week with a quote from Christiane Northrup, MD who says, “The world is going to be changed by joy and pleasure, not pain, not fear.”

In The Beginning...

2009-06-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking lately, with the economy caving in and all, what is it going to take to make us happy? Certainly it’s not this insatiable greed that we’ve been operating under? - The impetus that has sent banks and investment houses into schemes that in the short run would make many people squillionaires (my word, feel free to use it) but in the long run would cause giants in the industry to topple, initiating a worldwide domino effect of financial instability? My purpose is not to blog about finances but it has been a means to measure happiness, security and peace of mind in this world. What now, though? - Now that that measuring stick has splintered causing people to lose their retirements, jobs and homes? What really constitutes true happiness? It has put the discussion on the table with much more ferocity causing me to initiate this blog.

A word about me here: (I promise not to bloviate even though there’s nothing more fascinating than talking about ourselves) I just wanted to give you some insight to who I am and why I have started this blog. My background is varied and eclectic – I have a degree in Special Education and I have taught sign language, for children, adults and parents, both deaf and hearing, and helped spearhead a study that introduced the notion of sign language as a tool to aid in language development for autistic children. From there I did a twelve-year stint as a surgical assistant (Divine guidance? Can’t say for sure.) and then I went into production because that’s the next logical step for a teacher turned medical professional, right? After that I worked in the publicity department at the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences to help bring about that little show known as the Oscars. In between the cracks, much like grout, I wrote, wrote and wrote – publishing my first paper before graduating college, lots of magazine articles, writing and editing for the Chicken Soup for The Soul book series and most recently co-authoring a book called The Buddha Next Door. I should also mention that I have been an avid student of the “soul” for as long as I can remember. From my first inquiry, at the ripe old age of four, of “Does God breathe?” – to years as a student of Science of Mind (not to be confused with Scientology), A Course In Miracles and Buddhism; to my continual study at the hands of some of today's most insightful, teachers – Byron Katie, Abraham, Jacob Glass, Gregg Braden and the like - I continue to learn. Through it all, I have discovered that much of my own happiness comes from inspiring others.

Perhaps you will join me on this journey as we begin to mine the wealth of our lives to uncover personal happiness. We will be choosing to explore new avenues for joy, and there is no truer adage than ‘you get what you focus on’ – try thinking of “white Cadillacs” and then see how many you notice on the road today. We choose to focus on happiness here – the ultimate end product to all the running around and multi-tasking that we do, right? We run around feverishly proceeding with the certainty that by working hard and sacrificing we will attain happiness. But it does not seem to be working out as we planned. In many cases we just seem to get more fatigued by the process, while the financial remuneration is not as rewarding as it used to be and has even disappeared in some cases. Today I ask you to consider the opposite – let’s live in George Castanza’s (Seinfeld’s cohort) “opposite world” and begin to adopt the notion that if we choose happiness first, all those other things will naturally, without stress, toil, strategy or force, come to us. At the very least, we will be happy.

I leave you today with a wonderful quote from Abraham Hicks, who says, “Reduce your workload by 30% and increase your fun load by 30% and you will increase your revenues by 100%. And you will increase your productivity by 10,000%. (If there could be such a percentage.) More fun, less struggle -- more results on all fronts.