Our Inner Lizard

I've been thinking a lot lately about something a Practitioner teacher of mine used to say, "Left to our own devices we tend to make things up on the downside." In other words, we tend to believe the worse case scenario in a given situation, especially when we don't have all the information. Perhaps someone makes a casual comment or remark and we think to ourselves, 'what's that supposed to mean?' Before you know it we've made up some horrible story around a few simple words only to find that it was not the case at all. We've made it up on the downside. We've tapped into a false belief about ourselves that has us convinced that we've done something wrong that merits punishment. Talk about a happiness buster!

Why do we make things up on the downside? Left to its own devices, we have an inner dialogue constantly running amok in our heads that tries to convince us that we are not good enough and never will be. It is that critical voice of our parent, a teacher or that perfectionist that holds up a stick that we could never measure up to. We also live in a world that continues to reinforce our feelings of inadequacy The Ralph Lauren model who made headline news this week is a perfect example. The ad department for Ralph Lauren Photoshopped so much weight off of a model's body, it made her head look freakishly large. If you click on the link above, scroll down the page and see what she really looks like. We are being fed the message that her looks are just not good enough. No wonder young girls develop eating disorders and the diet industry is a multi-billion dollar industry.

These and other industries are dedicated to feeding our inner critic and it bombards us with fodder for our discontent. It keeps alive an inner dialogue that stops us from getting the things we want out of life. Remember, we create what we focus on - wanted or unwanted. When that inner negative rumble feeds our insecurities it gets reinforced by strong emotion and then it becomes our dominant point of attraction. We wonder why life isn't working out the way we want it to, completely oblivious to the voice that runs in the background - we've grown used to it. It's almost as if we're running on autopilot. The tail is wagging the dog. And then we wonder why we aren't living our dreams.

That's all about to change.

 It's time to blow the cover on that inner critic, expose it to the light and remind ourselves that I'm onto to you! Once you become aware of something, by virtue of your attention to it, it must change. Marianne Williamson used to say that conscious awareness is the first act of healing. We heal by noticing - it's as simple as that. A Course In Miracles calls that inner voice our ego self; Buddhism calls it the small ego; and Martha Beck calls this voice our inner lizard. We do not want to judge that part of ourselves or call it wrong, we simply acknowledge it in order to discharge its power. Martha Beck appeases her lizard with a peanut, while Abraham suggests that we thank it for sharing and then send it to its room.

I suggest you forge a strong connection with your source by whatever name you call it - God, The Universe, Your Higher Self, your Buddha Nature or Love. This is the truth of who we are. It is not something outside ourselves that we have to besiege in order to have good things in life - that's Santa Clause. I'm talking about highlighting the truth and making it dominant in your life by whatever means you deem effective - chanting, meditating, affirmations, gratitude lists - they are all effective. By practicing those things more throughout our day we affect those inner voices. Our default then begins to switch away from the knee jerk reaction of negativity - making things up on the down side - toward our more enlightened self, which bends over backwards to give us our heart's desire. When we begin to shift our point of attraction to a positive one, our lives change, our circumstances change and it becomes easier to focus on what's good and what's going right. The inner dialogue shifts.

This is profoundly different than just "thinking positively." That often comes across as void of compassion and an arrogant way of correcting another without dealing with our own lives. That would be negative denial - or as my friend Jacob would say, "putting pink icing on a shit cake." What we are doing is addressing the facts head on while refuting that they have any power over us. By all means deal with any negative voice that consistently reinforces pain by talking to someone - a therapist, minister, counselor, Rabbi or Practitioner. Find a way to appropriately vent your pain as you seek to let it go. Stop letting it leak out by complaining or calling something chronic or constant talk about how "that's just my luck." It does not serve our lives, it just perpetuates circumstances that we do not want. I'm talking about subscribing to a force that holds the galaxies in place. The Universe is so compliant that it seeks to give us what we want. Let's stop feeding it with our negative voices. Begin to recognize and acknowledge when you attract good things in your life, things that go right. Talk about those things more than you talk about what's wrong.

It is time to get a very strong vision for our lives - what it's about and what we are going to focus on. It begins by becoming conscious of our thoughts, our negative tapes. Just notice. We heal by noticing. Let's begin to notice what's going right, not what's going wrong as our training and our world has taught us. These are important times and we will change our lives by reaching deep within for a lasting and eternal truth that resides there, not by trying to get things from without.

I leave you this week with the very wise words from a dominant voice in forging peace in the world today, Daisaku Ikeda. A philosopher, educator, author and third president of the Soka Gakkai lay Buddhist organization. His yearly peace proposals submitted to the United Nations have made a profound impact on world leaders. Take heed to his words when he says, "Such things as money, fame and material possessions offer a fleeting satisfaction, something that can be called relative happiness. However, when we transform our lives internally, when we develop within ourselves a brilliant inner palace, then we can said to have established absolute happiness. If we develop a state of mind as vast and resplendent as a magnificent palace, then nothing - no matter where we go or what we may encounter in life - can undermine or destroy our happiness."

I also leave you with a video of someone who embodies positive denial - recognizing the facts but refuting the power they have over her. She refused to listen to the negative voices and made it up on the "upside!"

Divided We Fall

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we perpetuate separation. It's that look out for number one, get what you can, greed mentality that got us into this economic mess in the first place. It's easy to look at Wall Street and the banking system and blame it on their greed and lack of regulation, but make no mistake, we contribute to that pot every time we blame, criticize or demean ourselves or another. We must begin to look at our actions as directly contributing to the whole - good or bad. We do not live in a vacuum. Quite the contrary.

Spiritual teachers tell us that we are all expressions emanating from the mind of God or the Universe. Scientists tell us that, as energetic beings living in an energetic world, we don't stop at our skin. Physicists tell us that the quantum particles that we are made up of are always in constant communication with each other whether they are in our body or in another's. Metaphysical teachers tell us that there is one Spirit individualized in each of us. Whatever you choose to believe, I think we can all agree that there is more to us than meets the eye. Even the most pragmatic amongst us understands that our presence impacts our environment.

I was so disappointed this last week as I saw some people take such great delight in President Obama's failure to secure the Olympics for Chicago. And, when a Congressman screamed out "You lie!" in the middle of a joint Congressional address to the country, I was taken aback by how divisive we've become. Us and them, a camp divided - so much anger. Whichever way you lean politically, it is important to understand that we are not singling ourselves out when fostering that kind of separation. In the ego's undying attempt to make us right, better and special we have just projected every one of our fears and shortcomings onto another. We think we've just set ourselves head and shoulders above the pack, when in fact we've just called ourselves a liar and a failure.

We are so busy trying to prove our own superiority that we have suffered the whole as a result. Is our country any better? Are we working together to solve the world's problems or are we just posturing for personal gain? It's easy to point a finger at politics, but it just represents our individual consciousnesses. Neville Goddard, author of The Power of Awareness puts it beautifully when he says, "Man's chief delusion is his conviction that there are causes other than his own state of consciousness."

We all contribute to our world and we make a choice at each moment what that contribution will be. When we demean, embarrass or belittle another, we merely exacerbate separation on all levels. Because we are such powerful creators, together we set the stage for either peace or war. I had a teacher who used to say that the only thing you should do behind someone's back is pat it. Let's "man up," "grow a backbone" and step out on the side of each other. Nothing feels better than contributing to the good of another - and because we are all one, it becomes a self-serving act. Let's feed that lovely "quantum incubator of all possibilities" that Gregg Braden talks about, with more love and less fear. Aren't you tired of hearing the battle rage when you turn on talk shows or the news? Aren't you tired of all the anger and the fear it instills?

Let's take our cue from the Counsel of Elders, a group of world leaders selected by Nelson Mandela who are committed to contributing their wisdom, leadership and integrity to tackle the key challenges facing the world today.

I would encourage you this week to get to the bottom of any anger that you have in your own life that continues to be projected out into the world as attack. This is deep and this is powerful. When you are willing to be changed on the level of cause and take ultimate responsibility for your life and how it contributes to the whole, you have just waged the most profound kind of peace there is. When we give up our attack thoughts, the ones that rage within us, we will begin to see our adversaries differently...we will begin to see our brothers.

I leave you this week with a quote by Rossabelle Believe who said, "Let there be such oneness between us, that when one cries, the other tastes salt."

Don't Should On Yourself!

I've been thinking a lot lately about how self critical we have become. We berate ourselves for falling short of some imaginary goal that we set for ourselves. Worse yet, we have a habit of replaying scenarios over and over again in our heads of how we should have handled a situation differently - things we should have said, ways we should have acted. We degrade ourselves and judge ourselves as inferior. We are often far more critical of ourselves than we are of others. We are judge and jury and pronounce a sentence that is extreme and leaves us feeling guilty and shameful. We punish ourselves and then we do the next inevitable thing; we begin to attack others to make ourselves feel better. "Well if she hadn't been so stubborn, I would have never..." It starts a vicious cycle of attack. It's time to let ourselves off the hook. It's time to promote inner peace in a way we've never done before. These times are calling for a radical change. We must forge the waters of inner peace in ways we've never done before by changing the inner landscape of our minds.

When we attack ourselves it is no different than attacking someone else. Since we live in an energetic world where thoughts and feelings relay messages that affect the whole, when we attack ourselves we send a message of fear that is felt by everyone. The response to fear is often attack, blame or defensiveness. Katie Byron, founder of The Work tells us that defense is the first act of war. A Course In Miracles tells us that "In my defenselessness, my safety lies." Having remorse for treating yourself or another person badly is normal. The action called for is forgiveness. Forgiveness of someone else, forgiveness of yourself. As my friend Jacob wisely tells us, "Mistakes call for correction, not punishment." We need to learn from them and then move on. More often than not we punish ourselves significantly more than the alleged crime warrants. How can we learn compassion for others if we lack it for ourselves? "I should be this way, I should have done this, I shouldn't be so..." I had a teacher who used to say, "Don't should on yourself!" If we, for just one week, wrote down all the "shoulds" we impose upon ourselves, it would shock us at the impossible task masters we have become. Who could live by all those rules? Who could live up to that kind of perfection? And yet, this template becomes the one by which we set our standards. We don't even question where these rules come from. And the disappointment of not measuring up to these preconceived standards resides in the background of our lives and adds to our mild or even perhaps extreme discontent.

I'm asking you to give yourself a break. Let yourself off the hook this week. Ease up on all those strict standards and relax in the knowledge that you're doing the best you can. We make life so much more difficult than it has to be. If we ease up a little on our impossible rules, we will begin to feel a natural release from guilt - guilt that we tend to project onto others and then judge them by. We will then begin to see others differently because we will break the chain of defensiveness and blame. We are always first cause. It always starts with us and that's the good news. It gives us the power to change it.

We think all hell will break loose if we relax our standards, but once again it's the opposite; all peace would break loose. We are living by man made, self imposed, seemingly impossible rules; by which we then judge the rest of the world. If we are trying to become happy then that is faulty problem solving at its best. The solution here is inner peace. That may sound like a lofty ideal but it is, in fact, the best contribution we can make toward a more peaceful world. Berate and judge or soothe, forgive and relax the inner critic? Which one are you willing to project today? Inner peace is the beginning of the kind of life that we seek - a life of incredible joy, love and overwhelming good.

I would encourage you to relax this week. Take a vacation from all the "shoulds" you've been burdening yourself with. Check in with Byron Katie whose soul purpose is to teach people how to end their own suffering. Remind yourself of how often you get things right. If you're mind is being insufferable, make a list of them. If you still can't find peace in a given situation, pretend it's your best friends' problem and they are coming to you for advice. Extend to yourself the compassion that you would give your friend. Be easy on yourself this week. You're doing the best you can. Relax in the knowledge that you are loved and all is well.

I leave you this week with a quote from PM Forni, M.D. who said, “We are all the trustees of one another’s happiness and well being in life.”

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch!

I've been thinking a lot lately about the insidiousness of complaining and how it undermines our happiness. It is cunning and deceiving because we have learned to live with it as normal. It is pervasive and infiltrates every manner of life; it exists in the background of our lives as a constant hum that we don't even realize is there. It often feels good to gripe or complain about something or someone else - it becomes habitual and it will corrupt our every effort toward happiness, peace and joy. It seems harmless, a passing flip comment, a criticism of ourselves and others, a quiet, breeding dissatisfaction about the general nature of things, and yet the damage it wreaks is severe. It is the antithesis of appreciation and while it seems innocent, observational and perhaps even constructive, in its very nature it sets up a chain of effects that suffers our happiness as a consequence.

When we complain, we also give away a great deal of our power to incite change of the very things, in fact, that we are complaining about. I know it sounds like a trite metaphysical tenet, but it's important to understand it because we do it so unconsciously that we don't even realize how much we tolerate. It's a gentle dissatisfaction with which we've become used to. It becomes the tail that is wagging the dog. When asked the simple question, "How are you?" We often answer with a tepid, "Fine." Our knee-jerk dissatisfaction response has kicked in and our brains are running through thoughts of complaints by the nanosecond - we judge our jobs, mates, friends, financial situation, political maelstrom, our neighbors, their dogs and even lament the fact that we don't have enough closet space! It is built into our nature and accepted as status quo within out culture - if we don't criticize it how can we make it better? Again, there's an example of how we live in "opposite world" - you can't get to the solution of a situation from the level of the problem. Remember Einstein's quote? Complaining is even at times considered a personal social grace in our society. We denigrate ourselves lest we come off as arrogant or egotistical.

We must become aware of the underlying hum of dissatisfaction that consistently runs through our lives and surfaces as complaints. Usually, it comes out against another because 'they're always doing it wrong.' Or for the more "spiritually evolved" amongst us, we take full responsibility for creating our lives and turn the fire hose of self-criticism all over ourselves. We've learned to get used to it feeling dissatisfied - we consider it normal - but we must bring it to the forefront of our awareness. Once we become aware of something, we can no longer tolerate it in the same way. Awareness is the first level of healing. Once we become aware of how much room it occupies in our thoughts and consciousness it can never be the same. It has to change one way or the other. When we become aware of the underlying thought patterns that are steering our lives in directions we don't want to go, two things happen. We can no longer perceive ourselves as victims of circumstances, which empowers us to create our lives purposefully; and second, we become aware of our MO and how we operate - it can no longer unconsciously run the show. You can then look in the mirror and say "Ha! I'm on to you!"

I would encourage you this week to focus on how much is going right in your life. Make a list - post it somewhere and read it often. Add to it. There is so much good that happens naturally without our effort from the way the planet runs to the way our bodies work. My heart, circulatory, respiratory, digestive systems all do remarkable and amazing things to create a healthy body. The sun comes up every day and the tides go in and out on our behalf. So much works naturally for our good. If you're reading this and thinking, 'yeah, this is like when my mom used to tell me to finish my dinner because children in Africa are starving.' Just acknowledge that part of your brain, and then give it the day off. Its function is no longer vital to our survival. Martha Beck, author, lecturer and life coach, calls it our "inner lizard." It's that part of the deepest layer of our neural structure that evolved in early vertebrates, like reptiles, that is responsible for survival. It broadcasts the most basic of our survival fears: lack and attack. 'I don't have enough and I am going to die if I don't attack first.' Since we are not threatened on a daily basis by animals that might eat us, we don't need that part of our brain to such a severe extent anymore. It's still there, however, but it is more subtle. It has evolved to become that critical voice that grinds at us telling us we are never good enough. It compares us to everything and everybody and it always leaves us feeling worse. Whether we come out looking better or worse than the person, thing or circumstance we are comparing ourselves to, the result is always separation; separation from others, and separation from our truth. As a teacher of mine used to say, "Compare and despair."

So many of us live with an underlying feeling of anxiety and we can't really put our finger on what's wrong. We just know that we're not happy. I would postulate that it is the thought system of dissatisfaction that we've been taught since birth - a thought system that our society also supports and nourishes. Let's become aware of the subtle and not so subtle ways we criticize ourselves and other people. Let's not give it the space in our lives to create the malaise and unhappiness that we've learned to accept as normal. We deserve more. We deserve to be happy.

This week I would encourage you to become more "onto yourself" and catch yourself when your thoughts run amok in obvious and even in subtle, cunning ways. Remember, that critical voice, that tendency to bitch and complain, is insidious. Let's make our knee-jerk response to the question, "How are you?" be "Never better!" - And then let's mean it because it is true. You'll be amazed at how things and circumstances around you will change. I believe the effects of changing our complaining minds are wide in scope. You will be happy to see how so little effort can make such a big difference in our overall well being. Let's be willing to see things differently today. Add grace and appreciation to the recipe and let yourself be delighted by the outcome.

This week I leave you with a quote from Abraham Lincoln who said, "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

You Gotta Give a Little

I've been thinking a lot lately about the power of contribution and how much it does to foster goodwill, and what an enormous gift it is to our own personal happiness. It was Gretta Brooker Palmer who said, "Happiness is a by-product of an effort to make someone else happy." Mark Twain remarked that, "The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up." And of course there is the famous biblical adage that admonishes us to, "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you." And yet, in a world focused on how much we can get, it is not the first item that tops our list of 25 things to do to get ahead. Ironically, it's the one thing that brings the most joy, satisfaction and happiness.

Many of us today live under such a heavy financial burden that the last thing on our minds is giving. Survival and fear seem to be more the order of the day. Yet because our economic calamity has been brought upon us, in a very large part by greed, the very antidote that is called for is a spirit of giving - financially, emotionally, spiritually.

We have to remember, lest we perceive ourselves as victims of any circumstance, that everything we have done, thought and acted upon has contributed to the world as it is today. Our physicists and scientists from Einstein to Hawking, Newton to Braden have all contributed to the continued revelation of a subatomic culture that responds and literally rearranges itself according to our thoughts. They are learning more and more about how we interconnect with a field of energy, a superhighway or underpinning of our universe. Some scientists have called it the Mind of God and the Divine Matrix, by whatever name you call it, I think we can all agree that it is a creative framework for creation. It becomes easier to see how we are all connected; how every thought, word and deed of each individual contributes to our world - good and bad. All our thoughts of selfishness and greed have contributed to an unstable economy. While it's easy to look at the economy and point to one thing or another as obvious blame, we all have to take responsibility for how we contribute to the pot. Once we take responsibility and understand how we are creating circumstances, we are then powerful where we stand to affect change.

This is where giving, service, contribution and generosity play such an important role. There are so many stories of people helping one another in this economy that even our "serious" media outlets - if it bleeds it leads - are featuring good news stories. They are heartwarming, inspiring and encouraging. Nothing feels better than making a difference in someone's life. Oprah Winfrey herself claims that nothing has made her happier than her philanthropic outreach, especially her school for girls in Africa. Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea, risks life and limb in Afghanistan and Pakistan to forge his tireless effort to champion education, especially for girls. He has gained the trust of Islamic leaders, military commanders, government officials and tribal chiefs simply because of his generous acts of kindness. He has done more for detente in that region than the billions of dollars we spend on war.

Nothing feels better than contributing positively to another person's life. If it is true that we live in a vibrational, responsive universe then every loving thought, kind word, smile and attempt to make someone laugh is an investment. No good act is ever wasted. It contributes to our momentary happiness and to the whole web of creation. It stands to reason that if bad feelings contribute to greed and war, good feelings contribute to peace, harmony and happiness. My mother used to tell me it was better to give than to receive, which was an awfully bitter pill at 6 years old to swallow. Now that I'm a tad older, I know that it is impossible to do one without inciting the other. As a teacher of mine used to say, "You can't out-give God." I believe the ripple effect of generosity and kindness has such far reaching effects that it would blow our minds.

This week I would encourage you to practice the balance of giving and receiving in your life - they are two sides of the same coin. As my friend Jacob says, "You can't just exhale." If you find yourself in a bad mood, take the advice of our wise friend Mark Twain and smile at someone, extend a kind word or compliment, make any small gesture of kindness. You will be amazed at how it will instantly change your mood. If you have more financially, give. If you don't, open yourself up to receive and give in other areas that you are abundant in. Check out my Joyous Contribution area on this blog and act on one that inspires you. Muhammed Yunus, founder of the Grameen Bank in Bangladesh won the Nobel Peace prize for his contribution to eradicate poverty and the inception of micro finance. And it all started with a kind act - he gave a woman a quarter one day to help her start a business. There is enormous potential in each generous act that we initiate. Let's open our hearts, extend our hands and unleash our power. We face an unparalleled moment of possibility.

This week I leave you with an inspiring video - a story of contribution. I also leave you with a quote by Arthur Ashe who said, “From what we get in life we make a living, from what we give we make a life.”


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A New Attitude

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we affect our own happiness and well-being, health and prosperity. We've talked at length about how happiness is an inside job and how we hold the power, in the moment, to change everything. But how does that translate into the real world? - What does that mean to us on a daily basis?

I think a lot of it has to do with attending to our internal well being. In this society, we constantly seek to change external circumstances in order to create the life we want without addressing our internal minds. That's a lot of work. It makes me think of my sister-in-law's father - a funny, warm and brilliant man, who would always make us all laugh. An avid lover of puzzles of all kinds, he would be working on a jigsaw puzzle and if a piece didn't fit he would take off his shoe and pound it into place. He didn't care if there was a fish in the sky, he made the piece fit! While being funny, I couldn't help but think that he was driving home a point. It's the way many of us approach problem areas in our lives - we try to force them to work from the outside - which of course in the end never does. We want something so badly we are willing to "make" it happen with our sheer will, frequently fighting against spiritual, emotional, and in the case of the puzzle piece, physical laws. It's exhausting.

I believe that the alignment of our internal selves, our minds and our thoughts coupled with feelings, is the only thing that will create the life that we seek. We tend to value the outside world much more than the inside - we call it reality. In fact, one is not any more real than the other, quite the opposite, one creates the other. I was taught, in my early spiritual training, that the universe constantly conspires for our good. I loved believing in a conspiracy for my good, but we can't take ourselves out of the equation. We must set our internal world, our minds and hearts in accordance with this conspiracy theory. Ernest Holmes, founder of Religious Science calls it a "mental equivalent." He said, "The limit of our ability to demonstrate depends upon our ability to provide a mental equivalent of our desires, for the law of correspondence works from the belief to the thing. But it is within our power to provide a greater mental equivalent through the unfolding of consciousness; and this growth from within will finally lead to freedom." 

Rollin McCraty, Ph.D, Vice President and Director of research for the Institute of HeartMath, tells us that, "The heart generates, by far, the largest rhythmic electromagnetic signal in the body. If you look at this magnetic field as a carrier wave, it's being modulated with information." It is this information that is communicating our beliefs, expectations and desires. If we align our internal perception with love instead of fear, something shifts in our minds and we begin to see things differently. A new perspective is born and the insights we bring to a problem will change. It helps us to see possibility where perhaps none had existed before. It brings a clarity and a different objectivity to the table because we are fundamentally different. In Buddhism, it is called a high life condition.

Since all minds are joined, by the energetic field that we have spoken of before, when our life condition is high we don't even have to necessarily do anything - the phone will ring, an email will come, a solution appears. If action is necessary, it will be inspired and not forced by fear. Here again is where the beauty of the moment can powerfully intervene. At any moment, we can stop and create a life condition that will affect a situation positively, instead of trying to "power" through it. Stop. Relax. Breathe. Bring a state of well being to the equation - gratitude, forgiveness, appreciation, a revised story - they will be more likely deliver the results you desire.

We must stop the internal chatter that replays stories from our past that do not serve us. Katie Byron, creator of The Work, is brilliant at teaching us to let go of our stories. We hold on to stories that bring pain and we create evidence to prove those stories true and draw circumstances into our lives that we do not want. We say things like, 'I never get what I want in my life because (fill in the blank here) my mother was abusive, my father was an alcoholic, I was ignored, I had too little, I had too much...' Whatever your story might be, I encourage you to drop it. Instead of arguing for our limitations, let's begin to argue for possibilities. As my friend Jacob says in his 365 Miracles, The Miracle Workers' Handbook, "We are not trying to get rid of something or push against it. We are suggesting that you invoke something Greater." He goes on to talk about invoking positive denial."Positive denial is looking right at the situation and negating the frightening story you've told about it. Positive denial neutralizes the fear by stripping it of its power over you. Always follow up positive denial with affirming a deeper truth."

This week I would encourage you to rewrite any story that you continue to tell others about yourself (a good clue to your inside beliefs) in order to end their cycle of attracting unwanted circumstances. All it takes is your willingness to change; you will receive help when you become willing. Begin your day by aligning your internal self to your higher self. In your quiet moments reflect on gratitude and appreciation and then really feel it. By backing your thoughts with emotions you will create a positively charged, powerfully attractive state - a high life condition. If there is a situation that is causing you worry or fear, give thanks for all the help you are receiving for its resolution. See it as resolved and without having to know the details of the resolution, feel the relief. Feel the relief. Feel the relief. Answers abound if we move away from the thoughts that created them. Albert Einstein said it the best when he said, “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." It requires a new perspective. A true miracle occurs when we shift our perceptions from fear (greed, jealousy, hostility, hatred, etc.) to love (gratitude, appreciation, honesty, integrity, generosity, etc.). When that perceptual shift is made, we attain inner peace and well being; and that will change our outer circumstances without the need of a shoe.

Again, I'd like to reiterate that this is not hard to do, it is just different. It is a shift in consciousness, which is the most important thing we can do to create peace, happiness and joy in our lives and usher in a new paradigm. Here lies the hope and change that we can really believe in.

I leave you this week with a quote by Maya Angelou who said, "We cannot change the past, but we can change our attitude toward it. Uproot guilt and plant forgiveness. Tear out arrogance and seed humility. Exchange love for hate - thereby making the present comfortable and the future promising."

Science and Sages

I've been thinking a lot lately about forgiveness. No matter which religion you were raised in there's a good chance that forgiveness was figured prominently. We also run across it countless times in quotes from famous thinkers and our literature is strewn with themes of forgiveness. It makes you wonder...what really gives?

Once again, we find science and spirituality coming together in a powerful and profound way to teach us that by changing our own lives we impact the world in which we live. Author and lecturer, Marianne Williamson calls it the evolution of the consciousness of the species by way of the evolution and maturity of our own thinking. Quantum physics tells us that on a subatomic level atoms and particles constantly communicate through a field of energy. We constantly affect that field by our thoughts, which more importantly affect our emotions, which send a waive of chemicals into our bodies and beyond. Quantum physics, the study of subatomic elements, builds upon Newtonian physics by teaching us that there is so much more that happens when that apple falls from that tree. Spirituality chimes in to remind us that we are all one, that we don't stop at our skin. We're all made from the same stuff, that essence of life from which we came - call it God, or love or the universe - it is creative, responsive and ubiquitous. A Course In Miracles tells us that, "Ideas never leave their source." We constantly create our lives through our thoughts, feelings and beliefs.

Great, but what does it all mean? It makes me think about author Malachy McCourt, who said, "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." When we hold anger and resentment in our hearts, we not only hurt ourselves, we impact our environment and how it responds back to us. We might feel good in the short run by letting off steam and bitching about another person; we might even feel justified in our complaints (it's that right vs. happy thing) but we are never served by it. In the long run it is more devastating to our lives than we even know - as those quantum physicists are learning. Of course, our spiritual masters have known these truths all along. They just didn't need scientists to corroborate it for them. They got their information from a higher, more trusted source. But now our minds are getting the evidence that we so often seek beyond faith.

I had the opportunity this week to bring two old friends together again. They had left each other, years ago, on bad terms. When we sat down together, it became instantly clear that one person didn't even remember the circumstances that the other person had held as a source of their pain for so long. When all was said and done, it was evident that all that was left, the most important thing, was the love that still remained between them. Think of how many years of pain could have been avoided. While we are holding on to that grudge, the other person has forgotten the whole episode. They've moved on in their lives, but we haven't. We've drunk the poison with no ill effect on the other person and we stand holding the heavy burden. And when we hold on to that pain, our thoughts about it create feelings, which produce chemicals that adversely affect our physical bodies. Take that one step further - thanks to our wise philosophers, spiritual teachers and quantum physicists - and now we know that those chemicals impact particles that change our world and quality of life. We cause illness in our bodies when we hold on to pain, anger and resentment. Those emotions incite stress hormones and other deleterious chemicals and those chemicals don't stop at our skin. They begin a ripple effect in our world that bring more pain and upset. In an ever expanding circle of interconnectedness, we even contribute to that pool of hatred and war. That's a lot to sacrifice for not forgiving someone.

On the upside, we are always at choice and can, at any given moment, change everything. Let's be inspired by the example of Immacule Ilabegeza who forgave the brutal murder of her family in the Rwandan genocide. We're always at choice. And remember, forgiveness does not invalidate your pain. You are not condoning what they did to you. This is not about them. This is about you. You are setting yourself free. As A Course In Miracles says, "We are spiritually generous out of self interest." It is our world and our lives we are seeking to change for the better, and yet we can't help but do it for another since science and sages tell us that we are all connected. As the Talmud so brilliantly states it, “A light for one is light for a hundred.”

If we are really taking full responsibility for everything that happens in our lives, good and bad, then we understand that people and situations are brought to us by our own making in order to learn something. Usually the lesson involves learning how to have more compassion and more love;  not only for the person that hurt us but for ourselves, as well. Forgiveness then becomes another mental habit in our arsenal for happiness. It is not difficult, it is just different. This world teaches us to blame the cause for our unhappiness on someone else - on something outside of ourselves. But we're learning a new way of being that gives us all the power in the world to create happy, peaceful lives.

I would encourage you this week to bring to mind people who have hurt you; people who you have not yet forgiven. Those who you might quickly push out of your mind as quickly as you think of them because it is too painful. Begin to make peace with them in your mind. Write a list of their positive aspects so that you can remember a better side of them. Begin to forgive them and forgive yourself for your own complicity. Then pray, in whichever way you choose, for their highest good and happiness. You don't have to do anything more than that for miracles to occur. You don't have to call, write or see  them unless you want to. Chances are, like my friend, they might not even remember the incident. Besides, that divine field will elegantly carry your message. Remember, this exercise of forgiveness is for you. It will ease your burden and set you free. By virtue of that, your world will change. You will get proof in ways that you can't even imagine - that quantum field and spiritual truth will delight you in subtle ways. Keep an eye out for them. I commend you. This is not an easy exercise, but it is one of the most important contributions that we can make for inner peace, which will in turn beautifully contribute to the world's peace.

I leave you this week with some wise words from Marianne Williamson when she was expounding on a lesson from A Course In Miracles that states 'Forgiveness Offers Everything I Want.' "When I say forgiveness offers you everything you want, I meant everything, because forgiveness means you will then return to your most loving self. Your most loving self is your Christ self, your Buddha self, your true self...When you are that, when you become that, then you will attract to yourself everything that reflects that. Give love, get love. Simple as that."